reputation

The Octopus

March 2, 2018.

Eight - Emma

Late nights had become a more common thing lately, so Emma wasn't surprised in the slightest when it was only her and the cats lying on the couch at well past midnight. The television played a rerun of Twilight and two glasses of wine sat on the coffee table, one of them untouched and the other empty. Her eyes continually drifted shut but opened again as soon as she realized she was completely alone in the apartment. As odd as it was when she was almost twenty-five years old, she had only ever slept completely alone in a house or apartment twice, and sleep wasn't something that came easy either time.

It wasn't until an hour or so later that the door finally creaked open. The movie had already finished and switched to something more Taylor-approved and Meredith had run off to one of the hiding spots she spends the majority of the day in, the fleeting moment of affection long gone. Taylor's heels clicked in the hallway until they paused for a second and the soft padding of bare feet started in its wake.

Taylor moved around the room with quiet precision, turning off the television and straightening up other small things, until she noticed Emma's eyes on her. "Hey, darling. Sorry if I woke you up."

"You didn't. I couldn't sleep."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Anything I can do to help? I could make you some tea or another glass of wine if you want." She pointed at the empty glass and lingered for a moment on the full one next to it. "Nevermind. Do you want to go lay down? I've got to take a shower and then I'll come lay with you."

Emma nodded and watched as Taylor walked towards their bedroom. She didn't follow, instead she turned to stuff her face into the pillow. It wasn't until the water stopped running and everything seemed still that she got up and joined Taylor in bed. "I don't know what I'm going to do on the days that you aren't here."

"What do you mean?" Taylor turned the lamp off and wrapped her arm around Emma.

"I have some meetings I need to schedule over the summer and there might be a few weeks that I won't be with you. I need to look at the things I have planned in New York and try to fit everything in a way that would work." Emma pressed her lips in a small frown before rolling away from Taylor to turn the lamp on her side off.

"Oh."

Emma stared at the ceiling and tried to make out the outline of the lights in the complete darkness while waiting for Taylor to say something else. When she didn't, Emma turned to face her even though neither of them could see the other. "I'm sorry. I really did try to fix everything so I wouldn't have to leave at all, but I can't do that. I have a job and things in New York that I can't leave for six months."

"Not really." Taylor's words were slurred and Emma knew she had to be half asleep, but that didn't stop her from taking the words to heart.

"Thanks, Taylor. I'm going to go to bed now."

"Goodnight, darling," Taylor mumbled.

"Goodnight, Taylor."

Taylor

Emma wasn't in bed when she woke up the next morning. She wasn't in any of her usual places either. After the kitchen, living rooms, and art room turned up empty, Taylor started looking in the extra rooms and closets. She became increasingly worried with each empty room, but she knew that it was unlikely Emma had left the apartment. Her phone was still on the bedside table and she never left the apartment without it.

The last place she checked was a small closet that neither of them usually went in. In fact, the door was usually locked, but that morning it wasn't. Emma was sitting on the floor of  the closet and staring at the bottom shelf. The top few shelves held awards that Taylor kept in New York, but the bottom few were empty. At least they had been. Now the very bottom shelf had one thing sitting on it: the lego octopus Taylor had made nearly a year ago.

"Hey, Taylor," Emma said as Taylor held her hand out to help her up. She didn't take it.

"Hi. What's going on?"

"I know I don't have a big career like you and your friends and I try not to think about that because when I do it bothers me but I didn't think it bothered you."

Taylor racked her mind for what Emma was talking about but she couldn't figure out what this was about for the life of her. "It doesn't bother me. Of course it doesn't bother me. Why do you ask?"

"Then why did you say it?"

"What did I say?"

"Are you serious?" Emma rolled her eyes and waited for Taylor to say that she knew exactly what she said. "Really? I know you were tired but you have to be joking. This isn't funny."

"I'm not. I don't know what I said but I know I'm sorry."

"We talked about the tour and I said I couldn't go with you because I have a career and a life in New York that I couldn't leave. You said not really. I know it's not like a big life and career like you have but that doesn't mean I should give it all up to appease you."

"I know, Em. I don't expect you to give that up for me. I'm sorry that I said that and I'm sorry that I made you feel like that." Taylor slid down the wall next to her and leaned on her shoulder. "You are the most important thing to me. Your life, your career, all of it. All of you. I love you so much. I never want to make you feel like I don't."

"Why?"

"Because you are the kindest person I've ever met. You're so smart and funny and beautiful and you have this weird thing with shaped waffles. You always wake up before me and sometimes I wish you wouldn't because I like waking up next to you but I love that too because I love you."

"I didn't go to London."

"Well look at that. We can fight without leaving the country." Taylor laughed and so did Emma. She couldn't remember a fight or disagreement they'd had where they both stayed in the same place.

"You could call that progress."

"Progress," Taylor agreed. She stared at the octopus that Emma hadn't taken her eyes off of. "You really put that thing in here?"

"It's where it belongs."

"I was wondering why I hadn't seen it in a while."