Miracle of Love - Avyukt Manasa

14. First night(2)

My Lord,

I don't know how else to address you, but you are the only one I want to apologize to. I know you don't deserve to see your bride dead in your bed on your first night. Please forgive me for doing this my Lord.

Now that I am writing this letter, I realize I don't have anyone who I can write a letter to. This letter might not really matter to you. My father would probably read this and laugh. My grandfather will simply curse me and burn this letter. My mother and brother are now so far away that the letter will never reach them. And the man I fell in love with, .. I don't even know where he lives.

I am sorry My Lord. I apologize for marrying you when I had another man in my heart. I am sorry that I won't be able to give my heart to you. I tried My Lord. I wanted to tell you. But I was scared. I was scared of my grandfather. Scared of my father. Scared of the spies around me. Scared that you will misunderstand me.

I was nine when my father killed my mother. The madness in my father's eyes scared me. It still scares me. I became a coward who could never say no to whatever he says. A coward who didn't even dare to cry when my brother was getting killed.

When I was visiting my grandfather's place, I thought I could now breath. But I was wrong again. My grandfather was eager to sell me off to the highest bidder from the day I arrived at his place.

That was when I met him. He was the first person who made me comfortable. Near whom I didn't feel suffocated. His voice soothed me. Even the silence felt comfortable. Every night when I met him, I would see that spark in his eyes as soon as he saw me. The way he spoke to me,the way he looked at me, the way he tried to make me comfortable with whatever he has, I don't when, but I fell in love.

I knew I should have, I knew it was going to be painful, but I couldn't stop my heart from loving him. Those few days with him were so beautiful that the present is unbearable. I keep hearing his voice in my head. I feel he is around me, but I also know he isn't.

Might be I would have just lived my life as it was if I wasn't in love. I couldn't share a bed with a man who isn't my boat prince. I can't love you like I love him.

I am sorry My Lord. I am very sorry. I am very sorry... But I couldn't take this anymore. I just want to breathe freely, talk freely, smile freely. I feel so suffocated. I just want this to end.

Good bye My Lord. My request is outrageous, but if you ever find my boat prince, whose name I still don't know, then tell him that there was a girl who was madly in love with him but never got a chance to confess it.

Manasa

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Avyukt blankly stared at the letter in his hands. This was not how he wanted to hear Manasa confess. With her lying pale and at the verge of death.

It never occurred to him that Manasa could kill herself. He didn't know if he should be happy or sad after knowing that Manasa loved him so much that she would rather choose death than becoming a queen.

"She had lost a lot of blood. And she had trouble breathing. I cannot say anything till she wakes up." The General's wife said as she properly wrapped Manasa's wrist with a need cloth.

"And w-when .. when will s-she wake up?" Avyukt asked, his voice cracking as he tried hard to control his tears. He didn't want to look at her die again. Once was enough.

Sandhya, the General's wife, didn't reply. Her silence indicated that even she didn't know when the princess will wake up. Or if she will ever wake up.

The General was in the room too. He didn't know how to console the prince. He had seen how the prince was madly in love with Manasa.

Sandhya and Veer left after some time and Avyukt went to the bed side.

"Hey princess.. So eager to leave me huh?" Avyukt said as he caressed her forehead. Her lips lost their color. He should have not left her alone at all. Or he should have spoken to her instead of wasting his time punishing that useless half brother.

"Mera Chanda(My moon). This life, I am living for you. I won't ask you to fight any more. Do whatever you want. I will follow you.... I love you Manasa"

Avyukt whispered into her ear and rested his forehead against hers. 

----

Cough.. cough.. 

Avyukt woke up, startled by the sudden coughing. The first thing he saw was Manasa frowning in discomfort. She hadn't opened her eyes yet, but she was back to her senses.

"Manasa.." Avyukt called and fetched a glass of water for her. 

"Open your eyes love. Look at me." 

Manasa slowly opened her eyes. "Kanna" She whispered. Her voice was barely audible but the prince still heard her. 

"Yes love. I am here. Don't be scared anymore. I love you. Please wake up now." Avyukt said as he carefully made her drink water.

Manasa still couldn't comprehend everything. She thought she was in heaven. Thinking this, she snuggled into Avyukt's embrace and slept again.

---

"She is out of danger Your Highness. But her body is weak, and it will take time for her to get well." Sandhya replied and Avyukt nodded. 

She left the prince and the princess alone.