A Silent Abhira

Chapter 1

Black spots marred her vision as she struggled to breathe. She clawed desperately at the cloth around her neck in a useless attempt to free herself. She tried to scream for help again but was hardly able to produce a gasp of despair and fear. Regardless, it didn't seem like there was anyone else around to come to her aid. Just as she was beginning to lose consciousness and slowly slipped to ground, the pink noose around her throat slackened. She frantically took some much-needed deep breaths, gulping in the fresh air. Even before she could think to slightly relax, every part of her tensed further as she felt his warm breath near her ear.

She stilled, not daring to breathe, as he whispered silkily, "Remember what I said baby...you'll only ever be mine." She heard the rustle of his clothes as he got up from behind her, and the sound of his footsteps faded as he left her...for now.

She stayed there on the ground of the gazebo, trembling in fear and disbelief that he was back, he was back to torment her, back to ruin her life, back to undermine whatever little progress she'd made to move on. Him, the killer of her mother, her lifeline...him, the obsessive stalker and predator...him, Yuvraj.

It felt like she had been sitting slumped on the ground for hours, but realistically probably ten minutes had passed by the time she started to feel the panic recede, and her brain started to work again. She immediately thought to call Armaan, to inform him, to warn him, but unbidden their conversation earlier today came to her mind.

Abhira, in a defeated and sad tone, told Armaan with her palms pressed together as though in prayer, "Right, I'm so sorry, itni baar tumhe takleef dene ke liye. Ab mujhe bachaane kabhi mat aana." In defiant response, Armaan replied, "Done, kabhi nahin aaunga. Chahe kuch bhi ho jaaye."

Other older memories, of Ruhi telling her off for being a burden on Armaan, others claiming she was just a problem causing even more problems, flashed through her mind as well.

Abhira mulled over it for a while and realised that it was time she solved her problems herself. She wasn't a bichaari after all, and she couldn't keep relying on Armaan to save her, especially after the one-year marriage was over. She had to admit to herself though, that a small part of her refusal to tell Armaan was also due to her ego and hurt feelings. She had no desire to tell such a person of her problems who had no qualms leaving her alone, despite her obvious fears. She had been visibly affected and jumpy since the attack while home alone, and while Armaan had been full of care and concern at the time, with reassurances of always being by her side, he wasn't able to back his words up with actions after the fact.

The worst part of the realisation was the fact that it wasn't even the first time. Just the previous night, as she was preparing the murti, she had asked Armaan to sit with her and give her company, and immediately after agreeing to that, he excused himself to go sit with Ruhi while she prepared for the Valentine's Day party.

"What's the point, Abhira?" she murmured to herself. "Granted, Armaan takes care of me, he supports me off late me in front of his orthodox elders, he tries to cheer me up, but at the end of the day, I don't think he really considers me a friend. No matter what he says, in that aspect, it feels like Ruhi really is his best friend, and I'm just a burden of responsibility, an aafat he needs to deal with. Why should I add to it? Dadisa was concerned about me too, as was everyone else, but it was probably just a one off. I mean, clearly no one is worried now, and even if I do tell them, they'll probably just say I keep causing problems. And yet again, I'll probably just have to defend myself from false accusations. No, I won't put myself through that. I survived Yuvraj's behaviour last time, I'll do it again. And if it goes sideways, it's on me. I won't let him win the next round, no matter what I need to do to close his chapter for good." Abhira resolved to tackle this herself and stood up with the support of the pillar next to her.

She carefully made her way back to their, no not their, the room, feeling physically and emotionally drained from the entire ordeal. She removed her heavy jewellery and clothes and stepped into shower. She stood under the hot water, washing off the red colour Yuvraj had thrown on her, and tried desperately to scrub off the feel of his hands on her person, to feel clean once again. By the time she was done, she had scrubbed herself raw, trying to wash off the deep sense of loathing of being pawed at by him.

She dressed herself in her most comfortable set of nightclothes, cocooned herself in the blanket, burrowed her head deep in the pillow, shut her eyes, and tried her very best to put all thoughts of Yuvraj out of her mind and fall asleep. Half an hour later, she was still wide awake as no amount of deep breathing or counting of sheep was helping. Just as she thought of distracting herself by doing some of her college work, she heard the muted commotion downstairs of the Poddar family returning from the party. Deciding that her emotions were too raw to test her acting skills in front of Armaan at that time, she pretended to be fast asleep.

Armaan approached his, no their, room with an inexplicable sense of unease and urgency. He just needed to see that Abhira was okay. He'd wanted to stay with her, but Ruhi had been so excited about the party and so badly wanted him to join that he couldn't say no. He felt so guilty about Ruhi's condition, being married to Rohit, while not even being sure of whether he'll ever come back. Somewhere, he believed her situation was his fault, at least that's what she and her badi nani said, so it was up to him to support her as best he could as a friend.

"Why is the room so dark? Surely Abhira isn't already asleep?" Armaan wondered as he entered the room. He tensed at the possibility of her not being in the room and in trouble somewhere. Flicking the light switch on, he relaxed slightly seeing her lying in bed, facing the opposite side of the room. "Abhira? Abhira, are you sleeping?" he asked her as he approached his side of the bed, half expecting a "No, I'm dancing, can't you see?" type of response from her. Instead, he was greeted by silence.

"Strange, guess she slept early today. Maybe she was just too tired." he thought to himself as he got ready for bed. As he covered himself in his blanket, he turned his head back to look at Abhira, hoping maybe that she would wake up, but then turned back and laid his head down on his pillow. Drifting off to sleep, he felt a twinge of sadness that he couldn't speak with her before bed as they usually did, even if it was just to argue about something or the other. "It's alright, I'll talk to her in the morning" was his last thought before he succumbed to sleep.