Fragments

Chapter 2

I don't know how long I've been walking now, but it's starting to get light as the sun behinds to rise, an orange haze in the sky above

I don't know where to go, who to trust but I'm tired. I feel distant from my body as if it's simply controlling itself.

My eyes scan the street looking for anywhere to stop. But nowhere catches my eye.

So I carry on walking. And walking. And walking

By this point I hadn't been home in around 13 ish hours I'm going to say, I found a couple dollars on the floor as I reached the city centre so I go into the nearest shop to hopefully find some food.

I found a bench, and decided to make that my bed for tonight. I sat down.
I cried.
I cried for my lost childhood
For the instability I had grown up with
The lack of love
The lack of care
The scars that littered my body
The scars that littered my mind

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I don't know what time I let the darkness consume me but I wake up with a scare.

Someone shaking me, telling me to wake up.
My brain thought the worst ; was it john? Has he found me?
My arms fling to protect my head.
Nothing happened
To slaps, kicks or punches.

'Hey, it's alright I'm not gonna hurt ya'
Who was that?

My arms come down from my head, a policeman towering over me with a soft smile but sad eyes looking down at me

'What are you doing out here kid?

It takes me a minute to try and find an excuse, but nothing comes to mind. So I tell him the truth, a vague truth but the truth none the less

'I don't have anywhere else to go.'

His soft smile drops of a second

'Come jump in the car and we can get you sorted down at the station, kiddo'

I realise I didn't have a choice, but I know I need to find a way to not be sent back

I don't think I would make it out alive if I went back to John, running away would be unforgivable in his eyes. The torcher would never stop, i will die.
I need to find a way to make sure I'm not going back there

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After about 20/25 minutes we make it to the police station. I don't know what to tell them
I was kicked out?
They wouldn't send me back if I was kicked out, surely. I would simply be sent back to a kids home or places under someone else's care.
Okay. 
Plan of action, tell them I was kicked out, I don't want to go back as I wouldn't feel welcomed, get sent to a group home/ new foster family, hope it won't be as bad.

I get placed in a small office, nothing but a desk and a small sofa in told me to sit on by the officer who I have learnt is called officer Roth and he is very nice. 
He lets me get comfortable in the sofa before he offers me a hot chocolate and some food which I gladly accept as I'm still starving, I sit here for another 20 minutes before officer Roth and another officer comes back in to ask me some questions about why I was sleeping on the bench

I tell him my excuse and it seems like he believes me, he writes some notes and they both walk out of the room leaving me with my thoughts.

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I only care for one thing right now, I don't get sent back to John. I can't do it. I can't go back to him.
These past 3 years have been the worst years of my life, I have been in 6 foster placements in my 14 years of life and a couple more of them were bad. But not John bad. 
I have a favourite home, an older couple who took me in for around 18 months, mr and mrs Robertson. They had no other children, they just fostered. And they are who I think of whenever I feel upset, anxious. Especially during a beating.
Their small cottage on the edge of the town, the nights sat by the fire playing board games, the books they would read to me before bed.
After the 18 months my care worker decided they 'weren't a suitable placement for me' and so I was taken away from them. My heart broke that day and I haven't seen them since.

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It's been about an hour now, I finished my snacks but no one else has come into the office after officer Roth left to go do whatever.

But then he just walks in, like I've summoned him, that makes me giggle to myself for a moment.

'Hey kiddo, so we decided to not send you back to John, so due to a new regulation we do have to do a blood test to make sure you have no biological family who might take you in'

I respond quickly

'I don't have any family, I've always been in care'

He sighs and that sad smile once again appears

'I know but we have to, it's a new rule we have to go by, now kiddo follow me and we will go get the test sorted so we will have the results by the end of the day'

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The rest of the day goes like that, I do the test, have some more food supplied by the officers and end up sleeping on the small sofa in the office I was sleeping in before