teach me to love┊ °❀ [ lee know x han ]

˚ · . 09

The way that Jisung and Minho fell into a natural routine was so unlike anything Minho had ever experienced. It was strange to think about how different his life was only a few weeks ago. Jisung had changed something in him.

For the better? Maybe.

Minho never had to think about the state of his life, nor did he feel obliged to now, rather, it was the quality of his emotional state that drove him in one direction or the other.

If he felt upset, he knew that something was wrong in his life, if he felt happy, it meant something was going correctly. That was kind of how he was now, content, not overjoyed at every factor, but comfortable.

The ability to be comfortable in his own mind, and to have a break from the stresses of his thoughts was like bliss, parting ways with irrationality so that he could focus on being himself.

That's what really mattered to him, and at this time, when somehow, the puzzle pieces fell together, Jisung was something that made him happy. He wouldn't deny that he had his worries on occasion, because that itself was human nature.

But above all, he valued himself, and if he was taking part in something that boosted his morale and left little to no room for sadness, then he yearned for it like he was a compass pointing north.

Jisung.

Jisung was what he pointed to, at least at this point in his life. Jisung was north, Jisung was there, and available, at Minho's disposal when he needed him. Minho knew that the possibility of it ending was there, but it didn't agonize over it.

It was natural, to move on, Jisung might decide that one day, he didn't want to be Minho's north, and Minho would find something new to be drawn to, to do the whole process again.

However, as Minho lay wrapped in Jisung's arms, eyes shut as the rise and fall of Jisung's chest lulled him to sleep, he paid no attention to the future, he paid no attention to the what ifs, and instead, focused on the now.

Minho cooed as he felt fingers drift through his hair, shivering at the warmth against his scalp, melting into the touch. Jisung hummed with satisfaction from above him, chest vibrating against Minho's cheek.

"Jisung, is it weird that I don't understand my own emotions?"

He didn't even realize he was speaking until the words left his mouth, it was something Minho had been dwelling over for a while, and now, he assumed, was the time to vocalize it.

It was silent above him for a minute, and Minho opened his eyes to crane his neck up, meeting a contemplative Jisung, his dark eyes distant, drifted away, possibly to the wall across the room.

Eventually, Jisung angled his head to meet Minho's eyes, a small smile crawling onto his face, "No baby, no," He reassured, but it didn't make Minho feel any better.

"Do you understand your emotions?" Minho shifted his body, legs tangling tighter with Jisungs as he rolled onto Jisung's chest, peering up at the boy through his eyelashes.

Jisung let out a small chuckle at that, only slightly strained from the weight of Minho on top of him, "Of course not," He whispered, "I never do."

Minho let out a small sigh, chin digging into Jisung's chest, a frown shaping his lips. Jisung lifted a hand to rub Minho's cheek, his thumb brushing over the side of his eye where tears threatened to escape, Minho hadn't even noticed yet.

"Min, why're you crying?" Jisung spoke as a hot, wet tear rolled down Minho's face, beading at his jaw before sliding down Jisung's bare chest below him. Minho wasn't even completely sure he had an answer to Jisung's question.