Explosion of Colors

Velvet

Gulf shows up after Mew sends him a text. He's still unsure about what to do or say, or if he should make any changes, but he knows he has to see him.

He spends the morning on Facebook again. Thankfully, no new pictures have been posted. Yet.

Mew is washing the dishes, mostly just coffee cups and a glass since he hasn't eaten in about twenty-four hours. Gulf walks in as he always does, his hand briefly brushing against Mew's back, leaving a warm sensation behind and causing goosebumps to appear on Mew's bare skin. He shivers, hoping it's not too noticeable.

Gulf heads into the living room while Mew makes coffee. Gulf is always lazy and sluggish on weekend mornings, exhausted from a week of tattooing. Mew feels a little guilty for making him come over so early. He knows Gulf prefers to stay in bed until lunchtime, barely moving until at least 11 am. Mew has woken up next to him enough times to know that only his face peeks out from the covers, and how his nose scrunches up when Mew turns on a lamp or opens the curtains slightly to find his way out of the bedroom without tripping over something or accidentally hurting their cat, Allie.

Mew adds plenty of coffee to the maker. He knows Gulf needs a couple of cups to function properly in the morning. He smiles to himself as he grabs the cup that has become Gulf's from the dish rack.

"Shit, fuck," he thinks, letting his forehead rest against the cupboard above the coffee maker with a dull thud, the cup still in his hand. He's completely screwed, and it's not even remotely funny.

He just wants to hold on. There is no way he can ever let Gulf go. He gazes at the cup, flipping it in his hands, the unattractive green enamel shining. Life only feels bearable when Gulf is around. Gulf is the only one who can ease the constant pain in his heart and body. He can't pinpoint when he gave in, but he did. Completely. Maybe it was bound to happen. Gulf is his entire world. There's no chance he'll ever be able to...

Glancing at the tattoo on his chest, the symbol that brought Gulf into his life but also a reminder of his mistakes. It's a beautiful yet painful reminder of his inner turmoil. Gulf's artistry and Leo's face, resembling his own but different, adorn his skin.

Mew lets out a heavy sigh, feeling it reverberate through his body, filled with self-loathing.

As the coffee finishes brewing, he watches the last drops fall into the cup. He should gather his courage, pour two cups, and confront Gulf in the living room, telling him to go. And then never see him again.

Mew never thought there was enough of his heart left to break this way.

All he wants is...

"What this?" There is no curiosity in Gulf's voice – just annoyance, and a hint of irritation.

Mew's body jerks upright and he quickly turns around in response to Gulf's words, desperately hoping that his expression doesn't give away the turmoil he's feeling inside.

Gulf is holding up his laptop, which is open to Facebook. On the screen is a picture of Gulf at a party, with a guy leaning in close and placing his hand on Gulf's arm, causing him to laugh beautifully.

Mew bites his lip nervously. He hopes Gulf hasn't seen all the other tabs open in the browser, filled with various pictures. Faced with Gulf's potential anger, Mew feels a deep sense of shame, as if he has intruded on something he shouldn't have.

"You look happy," Mew says, trying his best to sound nonchalant, but his voice betrays the weight he feels. "That's... good." It takes effort for him to get the words out. He turns his attention to the coffee maker, pretending to be busy pouring coffee, but his hands are trembling too much for him to even lift the pot.