Explosion of Colors

Amber

His life has transformed into a twisted, chaotic rollercoaster, and it feels like there's no end in sight. It twists and turns so quickly that it's hard for Mew to keep up – in the blink of an eye, a good day can turn into a terrible one for no apparent reason.

One morning, he woke up before Gulf and couldn't help but admire the peaceful sight of Gulf sleeping, all relaxed and disheveled. But in the next moment, fear gripped him, afraid that Gulf might be taken away from him.

It's like walking on a minefield sometimes – anything they say or do, or even just a thought about Leo, brings back the painful memories and overwhelms him with grief, no matter how hard he tries to keep them at bay.

The pain is always there, lurking at the edges – seeping through the cracks and corners. It persists, no matter how tightly he holds Gulf, no matter how long he avoids opening the curtains or stays in bed with the covers pulled up.

It used to be easier when he was constantly immersed in the pain. Before Gulf came along and eased some of it.

But at the same time, he wouldn't trade Gulf for anything. It's hard to believe that he was able to keep his distance for so long. He's completely addicted to Gulf. Gulf is his sunshine, bringing light and keeping the darkness away.

But then Gulf leaves. Whether it's for work, to change clothes, or to meet family and friends. To live his own life.

Mew doesn't like that. He knows he's being possessive, but he can't help it. It's not an excuse, but it's the truth. He wants Gulf to be with him all the time. Forever. Because no matter how tough life gets, having Gulf by his side, behind the barricades they create together, is still better than facing it alone.

He's had enough of being alone.

🥊💉🥊💉

Gulf's long working hours at the shop have led Mew to spend more time there. Que and Marcie are easygoing and understanding, unlike Lilly who Mew is relieved doesn't know Phayu. The thought of them meeting and potentially becoming friends is amusing, yet terrifying.

Mew finds solace in watching Gulf work his magic on clients, specializing in realism and portraits. The precision and skill with which Gulf handles his needles and inks is truly mesmerizing. Que and Marcie, while talented in their own right, don't quite measure up to Gulf in Mew's eyes.

As Mew observes Gulf tattooing a client, he can't help but feel a pang of desire to get inked himself. The idea of Gulf creating a unique piece on his skin is strangely alluring, even though he's not sure what design he wants. The notion of having a part of Gulf permanently etched on his body is oddly comforting.

Mew watches as Gulf finishes up quickly, barely having time to clean his working space before the next client arrives. He can't help but feel a mix of amusement and irritation as he sees her flirt with Gulf, who seems completely uninterested. It's clear that Gulf's attention is solely on his work, despite her attempts to get his attention. And shouldn't it be obvious that Mew is right there, just a few feet away?

As he contemplates their relationship, Mew realizes they haven't officially labeled themselves as boyfriends. While their exclusivity and affection for each other are evident, the term 'boyfriend' holds a different weight. They are in a romantic relationship, and Mew is undeniably in love with Gulf.

He's been aware of it for a while now, but not fully. The realization hits him like a ton of bricks, making him realize just how important this man is to him - with his lithe figure, dark hair, beauty, stubbornness, and intelligence.

The flood of emotions is overwhelming. It's too intense. All he can think of is escaping, running away without looking back. The idea of being in love is terrifying to him. He fears it will consume him, leaving him alone in the darkness. He feels powerless against it. Helplessness is his greatest fear.