Jack Hoffmens Gay Homosexual Saga

Mitch

    As Jack awoke that day he looked in the mirror and decided he wanted to shave his head to worship his god, Mitch. Mitch was a famous soccer player, and he was so popular that Jack had decided to start a religion about him called baldism.
In baldism one would shave their head to show their love for their bald lord and savior, Mitch. One would also worship him every day by reading the book of baldism, and praying to Mitch at least once a day. He was trying to get it to catch on, but no one wanted to join because there was a $69.99 entrance fee to join.
"Wow! I look so hot! I have gyatt to show this fresh new cut to the world!" Jack exclaimed upon looking at his shining head as he ran out the door for the first time in 45 weeks because he was pre-farming for Signora in Jenshin Impact. Jack was prancing along like the sexy man he was, when suddenly a soccer ball hit him right in the balls.
"Woah, are you ok baby girly?" It was the soccer all-star Mitch Higa, and he was just so hot.
Oh my god, Mitch's ball just hit my balls. And right after I shaved my head to worship him like him too! I really want to ask him out but he has a wife, Pensile. Maybe if I can get the religion up he'll fall in love with me! This is a once-in-a-lifetime situation. I should take a picture To post on the Baldism sub-redditIn to try and get people to join! And I can put it in my body pillow that I have at home.
"OH MY HOPE! MITCH!? CAN I GET A PHOTO!?"
"Ummmm, yeah sure..." Mitch was kinda weirded out but still wanted to support his fan.
"OMH THANK YOU!" Jack yelled as he ran right up to Mitch and snapped a super hot selfie and immediately posted it with the caption " WORSHIP MITCH AND GOIN BALDISM!".
"OKAY NOW COME WITH ME!" Jack yelled as he brought mitch to a concert, threw the singer off the stage and took the mic,
"ATTENTION EVERYONE! WE HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!" Jack yelled into the mic.
"Ok mitch, read this." He said as he handed the mic and a piece of paper to Mitch
"Um, ok. ATTENTION EVERYONE! I MITCH HIGA WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE. MY RELIGION IS BALDISM AND YOU ALL SHOULD G-JOIN FOR A LIMITED TIME OFFER TO MEET ME! AND IT ONLY COST 69.99 WITH A FREE BOOK OF BALDISM INCLUDED! THANK YOU!" As he finished reading the note, a swarm of people came running up to the stage and throwing their money at them "TAKE MY MONEY!" "WE LOVE YOU MITCH!" LET ME SUCK YOUR-" "GIVE ME THAT BOOK!" they yelled
"Wow! This worked so well! I'll finally be rich!" Jack exclaimed.
"Wow you're right... sorry, I never got your name?"
"Oh! It's Jack hoffmen, the ultimate homosexual!" Jack said with pride.
"Oh, um, cool! I support!" Mitch said as he took a step back.
"So do you like, wanna build a church for you?" Jack said as he did a lip bite.
"Sure!"

~After The Church Was Built~

"Wow, what a cool place of worship!" Mitch said with excitement.
"Yeah! It was such a good idea to add the statue of you and your balls!"
"I know right!"
"So anyway, do you want to makeout?" Jack asked as he bit his lip with rizz.
"I mean I'm not gay and I have a wife..."
"It doesn't matter if you have a wife, it's not like she'll ever know!" Jack really wanted to makeout with his idol, especially since he had put in so much effort into seducing him.
"Well... You did create a religion for me, so why not!" Mitch gave consent with that statement and they proceeded to makeout under the statue of Mitch's balls.
"Thank you for doing that Mitch!" Jack was extremely happy about this.
"No problem, it's all in a day's work for a god like myself!" Mitch was clearly very happy to have made out with a smexy, bald man like Jack. And all of a sudden Mitch's wife, Pensile appeared from in-between the floorboards where she was hiding to spy on Mitch.
"Mitchy Witchy I love you so much. Why would you makeout with another man right in front of me!!" Pensile embraced Mitch tightly.
"Pensile, I want a divorce," Mitch had figured out that he had feelings for Jack instead.
"WHAT!? YOU WANT TO DIVORCE ME?! BUT MITCHY WITCHY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" Pensile looked like she was about to kill someone.
"I want to be with Jack instead I WANT TO DATE A HOT MAN NOW!" Mitch declared his love right in front of his murderous wife.
AHHHHHHHHHH Mitch Higa just said he'd rather be with me than his wife!! This is the best day of my life! Jack thought well of having a breakdown right there in a place of worship.
"Well if you want a man... YOU CAN HAVE ME!" Pensile yelled as they ripped off their dress to reveal that they were a man.
"WOOOOOOOW!" Mitch yelled in shock.
"HOLY SH*T! I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!" Jack yelled also in shock.
"Well, it doesn't matter, I still love Jack!" Mitch declared his love for Jack for the second time.
"WELL THEN IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU NO ONE CAN!" Pensile said as he whipped out a really sharp pencil and started to charge towards Jack. But then Mitch got in the way of the pencil, taking a fatal blow and dying.
"MITCH!" they yelled in unison. "W-WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!" Pensile yelled.
"I-It was all... to save..... Jack...." Mitch said as he died.
"Mitch, nononononono! Please stay with us! I need you...to make money..." he cried. Suddenly, God appeared behind them,
"Well d*mn! Saves me some work, but I still wanna kill someone so..."
"W-what the? Who are you!?" Pensile asked in shock.
"None of your business" God replied as she stabbed Pensile with the same pencil used to kill Mitch.