Bound by Obsession

Chapter 2

Well the sophomore year might be going well but my concerns have laid heavily.

Ryan has came to our teachers and has expressed how he's worried that I don't like him, or how I've basically ignored him when that's not the case.

My worry is he might be trying again, or maybe he just wants to stay friends. The teachers have explained how he's missed the days of me and him being friends together.

Now allow me to explain how me and Ryan have been friends in depth.

Ryan and I have been in the same platoon in NJROTC Freshman Year. I was the First Squad leader for most of the year and Ryan was Fourth Squad leader for part of the year. From there we were more or less acquaintances.

Sometimes when our guide was not here, Ryan would fill in. While not knowing me as well as he does now, he still did show genuine concern. The one time we had a uniform inspection, Ryan noticed something wrong.

I was feeling lightheaded and the pain was killing me. I was beginning to cry. I did my hardest to hold in my emotions but when Ryan asked, I just lost it.

However that's not how Ryan and I truly became as close as we are. Ryan was not really treated as nicely as others see. He is a nice person and people walked over him.

We started becoming closer on a unit trip with the whole club. We stopped somewhere to eat at a McDonald's, and he sat at a table all by himself, and he seemed like it was all normal to him.

I brought my friends with him and sat with him. I didn't feel like he had to be alone. And throughout the whole trip, Ryan and I have been helping each other.

I did get lightheaded at one point and Ryan also checked up on me. He was very sweet and a very nice friend. Even gave me hugs too.

Then a few weeks after the trip things got awkward. He later confessed his feelings after class, and I had to reject him. I haven't had much of a relationship.

In fact my last relationship with a guy was probably the worst thing to ever happen. It's partly why I only date girls now. I know Ryan wouldn't want to do anything to hurt me, but I didn't want to take my chances.

Ryan then later felt like afterwords when I was giving him less attention, he wanted to commit suicide. That immediately caught my attention. I myself have had suicidal problems and I don't want Ryan feeling the same fate. So I discussed to the teachers and they discussed to me.

Then after I took my Platoon Leader's Course to become an Officer, Ryan's need for me still came. And I helped. He just wants me to treat him the way things used to be.

And I hope it's nothing more. Otherwise I will have to reject him again. I just don't want to take the risk dating a boy again.