Hi again, I'm here to tell you how it all started. The sadness and the pain started in 2012, I was 10 at the time. My father got really sick. My father was a great man, I was a daddy's girl my whole life. I looked up to him so much.
When he got sick he had a brain tumor. He was at the hospital for a couple of months. But when he got surgery we were very happy. Until it all happened...
The surgery completely changed him. He got violent and made us very miserable. I kept telling my self that it was my fault. That I was a bad kid. But i know now that I did nothing wrong and I wish I could go tell my younger self that it was all okay.
I know it wasn't his fault that he was like that. He didn't choose to get sick. He also never went to seek the help that he needed. Even at this day he's taking a lot of medication that I know he doesn't really need.
At one point i asked my mom to choose between him and me. I would move out if she wanted to stay with him. You would think a mother would choose her own child. But no, she did not choose me. I moved out for half a year until she cried and told me he would leave if I come back. So i did.
At first, we moved out of our old appartement with him, but after a couple of months my mom finally realized that I really wasn't happy and made him leave. It felt really nice for a while but now the house feels pretty empty. No one to talk to when everyone is at work or asleep.
At 22, the little girl in me really misses her dad and would do anything to have him back the way he used to be. Not abusive, not a dick.
This little girl needs her dad back.. She really misses him but can't show it.
