Let's Kill Caesar

18: If it's Shoddy Poetry, I Don't Want it

The ruins of the temple were almost poetic. The Wild this god loved so was reclaiming his home. Thin vines of jasmine and leafy ivy coiled over the pale stone, around the crown of the statue's forehead. Moss sprouted in emerald patches across fallen pillars, ruined altars. 

It was obvious why the Romans had forgotten about this place. They were raised in strict order, dominated by rules and schemes. It wouldn't be safe to embrace somewhere built for the one god who embraced chaos. The strongest, fastest, wittiest man could never tell the ivy how to grow, where to stretch its limbs. 

"Why do we always end up here, Endy?"

Valerian climbed off his motorcycle, hair side swept as he cast his helmet to the ground. Endymion smiled. "I didn't even hear you pull up." 

"You never do," Val countered, running a hand through his ginger-brown curls. To Endymion's surprise Cassius gave his arm a tender squeeze. "C'mon skinny, I need to sit." 

He sighed and sank to the floor, Endymion following soon after. The friends nestled against the smooth cheek of Bacchus and huddled close, their arms covered with goosebumps. 

It was getting to the point where the weather was changing from dry chills to the damp frost of winter. Cold weather always bloomed early in Rome. 

"I'm glad you're here," Endymion said, hand brushing against Valerian's. "I thought you'd still be pissed at me."

"Even after our phone call like half an hour ago?"

Valerian furrowed his brow and half smiled. Endymion shrugged, eyes pinned to his feet. "You know what I'm like." 

Cassius snickered quietly. "Yeah." He nudged his companion with his elbow. "So Brutus - tell me what cards you've been dealt."

Endymion gulped. "You're going to shit your pants Cassius."

"Sounds promising."

The senators smirked at one another. Endymion raised a brow as a cigarette was lit and propped between his lips.

"So unlike you Val, sharing cigs."

"You'll always be an exception. Besides, I'll feel like a douche if I smoke by myself."  Valerian's plump lips puckered delicately as silver smoke drifted out from behind his tongue. "I'm waiting on you Endy."

He blinked and spat out bitter smoke, shoes tapping against Bacchus's chin. "Right. Well as you know I expect your lips to be sealed once I tell you this."

Cassius snorted and jabbed him with a long finger. "Don't be a prat - I have no friends to talk to aside from you and whatever Scipio is searching for attention." 

Endymion smirked and took another quick drag. "Sorry, I forgot. Anyway, not even Cato knows this but, well, Caesar is back." 

Valerian blinked slowly, brow creased in a deep frown. Endymion waited with baited breath for his friend to answer. After about ten seconds of total silence his mind began to spiral. Oh gods I shouldn't have said anything. Stupid, stupid, stupid-

"Caesar is back." Valerian tugged on an ear, green eyes wider than a hoplite shield. 

"Yes." Endymion wrung his hands, heart in mouth as Cassius continued to stare blankly.

"Caesar's back...in Rome." 

"Yes. He's back in Rome. I promise you."

Valerian shook his head, confusion turning into a hard scowl. "How do you know Endy?"

"He sent a servant after I saw you last. I had no clue - this car pulled up and I thought it was the cab I called, but then this driver got out and -"

Valerian howled, leaping to his feet. His arms were shaking as he snarled, "What? Oh gods!"

"Calm down," Endymion begged, clambering to his feet. "It was nice. He's my friend, why-"

He could only stare as Valerian stomped about, nostrils flaring wide as they could go.

"Fuck!" Cassius beat his hand against a pillar. "Tell me that you didn't ask for some alliance." 

"I didn't. We just talked. About Gaul, what's been happening in Rome..." 

Valerian sighed, hands rubbing his face. "You're not lying are you?"

"It wouldn't matter anyway - Cato roped me into his alliance."

"Oh?" Valerian pressed two fingers to his temple. "How?"

"He literally just introduced me to his political besties. There was no way out. Not with Cicero and Atticus Scipio staring me down."

"Which one is he?"

"The paterfamilias."

Valerian grinned and pat Endymion's back heartily. "Well I'm glad - they'll be able to help, protect. As much as you like Bastian and as much as Caesar likes you, you went with the smart choice." 

Endymion nodded, twiddling his thumbs. "Yeah. I guess."

"You don't sound sure. You couldn't have gotten a better alliance - they are the Delian league of the assembly. No one in Rome is respectable as Cato and his friends, however unorthodox your cousin may seem."

Endymion crinkled his nose. He wondered which words Valerian would use if he knew how Cato and Atticus spoke of him. Probably curse words. Endymion clenched his jaw. Valerian didn't need to know anything; it wasn't worth the truth to see his friend hurt. 

"I'm grateful for their help," Endymion said slowly. "I am. It's just a little overwhelming, you know? I'm not used to people relying on me like that."

Cassius rolled his eyes and tiredly flopped down onto the smooth marble of Bacchus's nose. "You're taking this too serious. It's your first time, no one expects anyone like us to win a magistracy."

The young man looked up slowly, a strange sad smile on his lips. Valerian's voice shook with something as he sighed, "It's not about winning. Romans never make anything that simple."

Endymion crossed his arms, brow furrowing. "C'mon Val - I don't need shoddy poetry. I know it's more. I just can't afford to see it that way." 

"You're lying."

Endymion swallowed, face paling. His stunned silence betrayed him. Valerian chuckled and took a weak suck on the last of his cigarette. "You can see it that way Endymion. In fact you do. That's why you're afraid."

What do I say to that? Nothing. Nothing could be said to combat the ugly truth. Endymion pressed his hands to his eyes. His stomach did a full gymnastic routine as Valerian breathed to the quiet, "We saw Bastian make his mistake. I'm not stupid and neither are you."

Endymion bit down on his tongue, pain bursting in his chest. His lungs flared as the air was driven from his body. But Valerian didn't berate him, didn't walk away.

No, a warm gentle hand reached out and took his. Endymion's voice broke as he rasped, "I don't want to be his enemy."

Valerian didn't utter a word. There was no point. They both understood the answer. Such is the game.