a book for thoughts

Adulthood.

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Why am I so young and so tired?

What happened to this adulthood I dreamed so endlessly about?

I wanna go back.

I am so young and yet I still feel too old.

Too young to understand but too old to not get it yet.

Emotionally matured but haven't quite caught up to it.

I should know any and all things but still wait by the foot of those who know those things better, longer, and more.

I can do it myself and yet I still don't know better to do it right.

And..

Marriage is for later but giving myself is now and if I pass the thin line of finding a partner, my chance has gone by and now I have no choice but to stay alone.

It's too early to be in love but I'm in my prime to be on the lookout.

I shouldn't give myself away all too soon but surely I should know exactly everything by the time I get there.

I am old enough, but I am young enough too and what I wish for is too soon to accomplish and what I have now just isn't gonna cut it and is just far too childish for someone grown like me.

How am I so much of everything all at once?

Is this adulthood?

The middle of knowing, not knowing, not enough, too much, just right and yet also just not quite?
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-A.C