The Perfect Lie

12

𝗦 𝗢 𝗙 𝗜 𝗔

I feel extra tired today.

The last few days haven't been great. I've struggled to keep my blood sugar under control. That means a lot of sleepless nights, resulting in me being ridiculously tired throughout the day.

Somehow I've finally managed to get it under control now and after checking my monitor, my levels were also controlled throughout the night. Although, that still didn't help with my sleep. I guess it was on my mind and that's why I had such broken sleep.

I overheard Lula and Elio speaking about Nico's mothers party last night. Apparently they've hired out some sort of large building in Seattle for it because it's not exactly like he can host it at his house. That's his private space.

Actually, he probably could if he wanted to because Renzo has had parties here in the past. But I guess everyone is different. Maybe Nico doesn't want people snooping around his home.

I don't particularly like it, but then again I'm never usually involved in the parties anyway.

Hannes made me lasagne for dinner tonight and it was absolutely delicious. Both Hannes and Anna are excellent cooks.

Once I've allowed my dinner to digest, I decide to take myself for a swim. Yes, call me crazy because it's freezing, but I just feel like a quick swim would be good for me. Maybe it'll help my body relax.

I close the sliding door to the kitchen and walk towards the pool. It is freezing outside. Am I regretting my decision to do this? Probably.

Placing my towel onto the chair beside the pool, I sit down and dip my feet into the clear water, kicking back and forth. It's cold but it's not as cold as the air outside.

I take a deep breath and slip into the water, instantly putting my shoulders under so that my body temperature regulates. I lean my head back and allow myself to float.

There's a few stars out tonight, twinkling in the dark sky. They're so far away, separated from one another. I wonder if they feel as lonely as I do?

Everything I do around the house, I always do alone. Lula is always busy with Rose, and everyone else is busy doing mafia stuff. I often think about my parents and wonder what life would be like if they were still here.

I was always a mommy's girl. I miss her. I miss her a lot.

I just wish I had someone to experience things with. Someone who could keep me company. A person for me.

Maybe that time will come. Maybe it won't.

I continue wallowing in self pity, floating around the swimming pool until I decide I've had enough. Wrapping the towel tightly around me, I make my way inside the house.

Renzo is sat at the island holding Rose on the worktop while she babbles to herself. He glances in my direction and offers a faint smile.

"Is Lula anxious about leaving Rose tomorrow?" I ask him.

"Probably." He replies. "She's never gone out of state without her before."

It must be daunting. Leaving your child. The most important person in your life and someone you'd do absolutely anything for. Putting your trust into someone to look after something so precious to you. I can't imagine it being easy.