To Have and To Hold

Chapter 3

"Divya" Durga said. When people don't respond to nicknames, you've gotta try their original names. Still, Divyanka didn't bulge.

I moved closer to Divyanka and slightly pressed her shoulder. "Danielle" I whispered. Divyanka turned around with a start.

"Guys!" Divyanka said enthusiastically as if nothing happened.

"What is all this?" Durga asked with moist eyes.

"What is what?" Divyanka said, again trying to normalise un-normal things.

"Dainelle, you quit smoking after lockdown was announced, didn't you?" Jyothika said, trying to bring the conversation to the point.

"Shall we not talk about this?" said Divyanka and turned back to the window.

"Why should we not talk about it?" said Durga firmly, "Oh yea, I know. It's because you didn't quit. You lied to us. You lied to your family. You kept making promises that you'll quit but kept cheating yourself. Now see where we are. Look at yourself. You're suffering from stage 1 lung cancer. Look at your parents. They're running behind hospitals when Covid has gripped the world. And what about Patrick? How will you face him?" Durga stopped only to gasp for breath. She was about to continue but seeing Dainelle frowning and bowing her head down in shame, I thought it would be wise if I intervene.

"Guys, shall we first ask Dainelle what exactly happened?"

"Obviously, even terrorist in our country get to express their opinion and this is just cancer." Durga said sarcastically but clearly she was in fumes.

"Guys", said Divyanka softly "I know that you all are angry but I just couldn't control"

"Control is an altogether different thing but the question is how did you even manage to get them during lockdown?" I asked.

"Umm.. Man.. Manish anna got them for me." Divyanka said hesitantly.

Manish lived as a tenant in the pent house above Divyanka's house. He is an unemployed engineer and taught tuitions part times to make ends meet. We knew he smoked but he never dared in front of Neelima aunty or Mahendra uncle and for that matter no one in the entire colony knows it. We just happened to catch him buying cigars one day.

"Do Natalie aunty and Matthew uncle know this?" Jyothika asked.

"This is how they got to know everything" Divyanka said "Manish anna and daddy got into a fight about the non-payment of rent. The matter got serious and anna burst into saying that my payment has been pending since 2 weeks."

"Manish anna, seriously!" Preeta said in exasperation "I told you he was a scum. How could you trust him?" Preeta was never a great fan of Manish. She despised him on many levels for his frequent ignorant comments on God and his blame-game mentality.

"As if I had an option" Divyanka said, borrowing Manish's ignorance.

"But Dan, you were to quit" I said "How did you fall for it again? Didn't you change the nicotine patches? What about that tape we gave you?"

"I did... I did. But see, if quitting was so easy then why do think we have so many therapists and rehabs. Guys understand that it's hard. It's not a one man job."

"If you needed therapies and rehab then why didn't you tell aunty and uncle about it or at least you could have told us about it." Jyothika said.

"That's not what I was saying" Divyanka said as she rose from the chair and went and sat on bed.

"Then what is it" "how could you do this" questions upon questions poured on that poor thing. She didn't bother to respond to any after a few minutes and the minutes that followed witnessed a decrease. Then there was total silence.

I stood behind all and looked upon Divyanka with fear filled eyes. She was a brilliant woman but with a weakness. The weakness wasn't too humongous to dictate her life or at least that what we hope. She was crushing the end of her dark brown kurti with her pale left hand and the black palazzos hung from the bed below along with her left leg. She was trying her best to stay normal in these definitely not-so-normal times.

I took a deep breath and said, "Danielle, so what now?"

"What now? Maybe, chemotherapy." She replied feebly.

"So that means no college, no studies, no French fries and no shaving for a few months" I said to ease the situation. That helped. All of them burst out laughing.

"Maybe you could find some good-looking co-patient." I further added.

"No need. Most of the time, that cute patient shows the white flag to life." Durga said striking down my idea.

"Well..." Preeta was about to say something but our parent's intervened. "Looks like even Cancer and the guilt of cheating your parents can't prevent you girls from having fun" Bindu aunty said.