I was glad to be a cook. I'd wanted it for most my life, and being one was my greatest happiness.
Making people food was all I'd ever wanted. Making happiness. Comfort. Joy. Food was powerful even if it was from a box, and I loved what I could create with it.
Cole was eating the wrap I'd made him for lunch. He'd already fallen off his ladder trying to fix one of the lights in the dining room when Kelce knocked into him, thinking it would be funny.
Cole was an idiot, and we hadn't talked about the distraction sex or the baby. We were thinking about it in glances since he was adamant that this had been my decision - to become a mother, or not. To become his girl, or not. I hadn't wanted to think about my complicated feelings about either, but I wanted to feed my idiot.
"What're you gonna do, fuck her with your eyes?" Kelce scolded Cole, smacking him upside the head as he walked past him and I gave Kelce a look with my big knife I used to chop everything with.
Kelce chuckled and smiled weakly, knowing I'd stab him if I wanted to. "Poor fucker nearly hurt himself because of you, quit hitting him."
Kelce popped his brows at Cole. "Hm, someone's a little protective of you,"
I just barely poked kelces shoulder with my knife, warning him. I wasn't in a good mood - I'd felt like shit all day and he wasn't making me feel better.
"Get moving, Kel. I'm trying to feed our handy man so he doesn't quit because of this dump,"
Joey shouted from across the kitchen as he'd been waiting for sauce for the pasta he made. His mom was just finishing making a fresh batch.
"He can return the favour, I'm sure it's not tiny-" then his mother smacked him repeatedly with her wooden spoon, making me laugh at how he got what he deserved. Kel went to save his brother as their mom was shouting obscenities at him, telling him to grow up.
Cole gave him his half smile half smirk from under his hat before he took another bite of his lunch and I blushed. I couldn't look at him anymore, so I went back to cutting pine nuts for pesto, trying to not remember myself on my knees in front of him on the porch and how big it had looked in the sunset. Or his face when I'd whimpered at how full of him I'd been even when there was a little more to take.
He couldn't have been insinuating I'd thought about his size. He's my best friend and I've never seen him naked... or thought about him before.
Cole slid over a little, being closer to me, and gently put his hand under my apron and splayed his fingers on my stomach, the spot I couldn't look at anymore.
I kept my eyes down on my cutting board, but ceased my work as he whispered into my ear. "Feeling okay?"
I shrugged, not wanting to talk about it, but it was nice of him to ask. It made it feel less stressful, like this all could just be easy.
"Like crap,"
I glanced to him only with my eyes, not wanting him to notice. He'd been staring down at the ruffle in my apron where he'd put his hand as the brothers and mother in the kitchen were still causing chaos with arguing and a flying wooden spoon.
"What can I do?" He whispered again, his eyes roaming me like he was trying to find a loose screw or a wire to solder to fix me. I'd looked at him and wondering what kind of cookies he'd want for after dinner - like I could stuff him with goodies to keep his good coming to me.
It wasn't what he could do, but it fell out of my mouth as I stared at the pine nuts again. "I looked at the procedure for an abortion. It would just be pills." I whispered, and he pulled his hand off of the baby.
