𝐹𝓎𝑜𝓁𝒶𝒾 𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓉𝓈

I dont know what I was thinking

Angst-ish just Fyolai being sad that they can be with each other... (lol im running out of ideas)

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"Why must things be like this?"

I can't move. I couldn't move.

Why must I be the one to kill?

Why must I be the one to die?

Such nonsense. I kill to feel the guilt in my heart and destroy it. I hate feeling.

Oh really?

No, that was a lie I kill to feel. To feel... Guilty is what I am and what I shall still be.

But you, my Fedya, are guilty as well. For killing my feelings to die and be free, ultimately you, my dear, are guilty of a crime that I will not forgive. I cannot forgive. The day you died is the day I still can't forgive you. Why must you stay in my head and haunt me so. You wound me.

Yet I can't hate you. This life is worth nothing but the illusion of sadness and despair. I have finally reached my point.

—-

Dear Koyla,

My dearest and my inexpensive bird. I hate you as much as I feel the opposite. I hate you for making me feel this way. I know exactly how your feelings might end up rotting. Nevertheless there is no reason to hate you if I don't give you any reason to love me.

...

I guess unexpectedly, I failed to prevent that either, but no worries. All will end soon and we will part ways never to rejoice together. You will be free in the world of light and I shall stay in the darkness. You are an interesting being, but as much as my heart aches for you, it is foolish to even think about it. After all my duty is to rid the world and its sin, whilst you might be an endearing possibility in my life, under no circumstances will I let you break the path I had laid out.

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Words:321

super bad at writing...