Sidelines 6 - The end.
DAN
Habang naglalakad siya palapit sakin ay malakas ang kabog ng dibdib ko. She's still as beautiful as ever. No, scratch that, she's even more beautiful now than ever. I tried to plaster a smirk on my face, for them not to see the pain I was feeling. Just by the mere sight of her can already awaken all the pain over the years.
Nang nasa harap ko na siya ay hindi nakaligtas sa paningin ko yung luhang lumandas sa mata niya bago siya maglakad papunta sa gilid.
Mahal mo pa ba ako? Bumalik ka ba para sakin? Kasi sabihin mo lang, handa akong baliin tong pinanghahawakan ko para sayo.
My head was spinning the entire ceremony. Wala akong ibang maisip kung hindi si Chandria na tulala habang nakaupo sa may harapan. Nagtatalo ang isip ko. I cant fucking think straight.
"Love. You saw me at my worst, and yet you still saw the best of me. You saw how I crawl down the floor every time I get drunk, and you were there picking me up. You saw how miserable and broken I am, and you were there trying to fix my broken pieces."
Sandali akong huminto at tumingin kay Chandria. She was crying, hard. I felt a lump on my throat. "And for that, I thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me when I almost gave up on myself. Thank you for teaching me how to love again. Thank you for everything, Yas." Nakita ko ang pagtayo ni Chandria sa upuan niya at ang paglalakad niya palabas ng simbahan.
My breathing became uneven. I shut my eyes and all I can see was Chandria's face. Her smile. Her laugh. Her voice. Her eyes. Nagflashback lahat ng memories namin noong kami pa. All those sleepless nights just to talk to each other, all those movie marathons, all those late night roadtrips, all those kisses we shared.
Binuksan ko ang mata ko at tinignan ng deretso si Yassi. Siguro nga, minahal ko tong babaeng nasa harap ko. She saved me when I was so close to dying. Pero habang buhay kong lolokohin yung sarili ko kung itutuloy ko ito. I may have loved her, pero siguro dahil lang malaki ang utang na loob ko sa hindi niya pag-give up sakin. Sa pananatili niya sa tabi ko noong wasak na wasak ako.
But Chandria. She's my one true love. My epic love. Yung binabalik-balikan. Yung kahit anong mangyari, hindi mo makalimutan. At kahit na nasaktan niya ako ng sobra, alam ng puso ko na siya, siya lang ang gusto kong makasama habang buhay. She may be the death of me, but she's also my life.
"B-But Im sorry. Im sorry I dragged you into this mess. Im sorry, but I cant do this. Im so sorry." Sabi ko at mabilis na tumakbo palabas ng simbahan.
Paglabas ko ay naabutan ko siyang may kausap sa cellphone niya. Hahawakan ko na sana siya sa balikat pero napatigil ako sa narinig ko mula sakanya. "Im sorry. Babalik na si Mommy dyan, alright? Wait for me... I-I love you, anak."
"A-Anak?" Gulat na tanong ko. Agad siyang napalingon sakin at nanlaki ang mata niya.
"W-What are you doing here? Bakit wala ka sa loob? B-Bakit? S-Sinundan mo ba ako?" She said, stuttering. One thing I know about her is that whenever she's nervous, she tends to stutter, alot.
