What the Heart Wants

1

Thursday, April 18, 1968

I arrive home from work and walk through the front door to be greeted by my older brother Darry. "How was work?" he asked after just coming in the door about 5 minutes before me and taking his boots off. "Fine," I reply sighing  "just another day of trying to get kids to try and learn something." Darry just laughs in response because it seems lately that I have yet to have an easy day at school.

"I'm home!" we hear Pony say from the door, "In the kitchen!" I shout back while sitting my bag filled with papers to grade on the table. "Johnny's gonna come over later for supper, if that's okay" Pony says while grabbing a Coke from the fridge. "Of course, you think he likes casserole?" I ask him as I take the chicken from the fridge to start prepping for supper; it's my turn to cook tonight so I just choose something quick and easy, chicken casserole. 

"Yea he's not picky," Pony starts walking out of the kitchen, "I'm gonna go start my homework." Pony leaves the kitchen heading to his and Soda's room and I faintly hear Darry say that he's going to take a shower as I start prepping the chicken.

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Just as I'm putting the casserole into the oven I hear the door open gently and I figure that it's Johnny. He walks into the kitchen just as I'm turning around from the fridge, "Hey J.C" I say with a warm smile. 

"Hi," Johnny reply's softly " is Pony in his room?" "Yep, will you go tell him dinner will be ready in about 30 minutes?" I ask pulling plates from the cabinets to go ahead and set the table. Johnny gives a little nod as he heads toward Pony's room to hang out. 

Darry walks into the kitchen after his shower to help finish setting the table just as Sodapop comes through the front door, "I was wondering when you were going to show up" Darry tells Soda. "Yeah well some Soc decided they needed their oil changed 5 minutes before closing" Soda explain with a dramatic sigh. 

"Well if it was that big a deal why didn't you just turn them away?" I ask as Ponyboy and Johnny walk back into the kitchen. "It worked out fine because out of the blue a quart of oil's cost jumped up to $1 more than it usually is" Soda says while grinning.

 "Well it's almost time to eat so go get washed up" I tell him while handing Darry the glasses to put on the table. "Don't have to tell me twice, I'm starving" Soda says while he walks down the hall to the bathroom to wash the grease off.

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Supper was ate with a few stories from everyone's day, with Soda telling a story about how Steve got rejected by a girl that came into the DX. 

It is Darry's turn to wash the dishes tonight since I cooked dinner, and I worked on finishing up grading some worksheets from today. 

"I heard that Tim got let out the cooler today" Darry says out of the blue while drying a plate, I pause for a second not expecting to hear that considering he was supposed to be in for another month longer. 

"I don't understand how he keeps getting slaps on the wrists after so many offenses" I say shaking my head. 

Tim Shepard and myself have a past of being "close", for lack of better words. I always had a little crush on Tim, having been around him since we were children, but he's always  been a flirt and not wanting anything serious with just one girl, much less wanting anything to do with me relationship wise.

When it came to Tim, the older I got the more it felt like I was just a rag doll for whenever he needed someone to talk to and flirt with when he got bored of the other girls around. But after he got put in the cooler this last time when he got picked up after a rumble, I swore that I was done wasting energy on something that I will never reap anything worthwhile in return. 

"I'm too grown to keep acting like a little girl just because I've got a crush on an adult delinquent" I would constantly remind myself after he got locked up. 

"You think you'll go see him?" Darry asks after a minute while looking at me. 

Darry and Tim had never been the closest of friends but growing up in the same neighbor hood they got along. Sometimes Tim would crash on our couch at night because Darry said the cops were looking for him and never really cared. But even with them getting along Darry hated that I had a crush on him.

"No," I reply "I'm done being his fallback girl." 

"I had noticed you didn't seem to mention him any since he got locked up, so I figured you finally decided to stop trying" Darry says, "I'm glad to because he was nothing but a waste of your energy"

I just nod my head along as I clean up my work stuff and put it back into my school bag so I'll have it together in the morning. 

"I'm gonna head to bed Dar, love you" and with that I leave the kitchen and walk down the hall to check on the others. 

I stop by Soda and Pony's room to see if they are getting to bed. Ponyboy and Johnny are cleaning up materials from doing their homework, lately Johnny has been easing back into a school routine which makes me so happy. 

About a month ago Johnny got jumped by some shitty socs while he was walking down the street. They were able to beat on him pretty good before some other greasers were able to step in leaving him with a scar on his cheek. Since then Johnny had refused to even go anywhere but this week he went to school a couple days because Darry offered to drop him and Pony off in the mornings. 

"Johnny it's getting dark so why don't you just stay here tonight and just borrow clothes from Pony tomorrow" I offer. "Okay I will, thanks Elsie" Johnny replies.

"Goodnight guys" I tell the boys and her soft goodnights in return. With the knowledge that everyone is safe and in their beds tonight I head to my room to get some sleep.