As Long as I Have You

Her Safety in the Storm

ANNABETH

"You want to watch me pee on a stick?"

Percy sighed, leaning against the bathroom doorframe, still dressed in his chiton, which now just looked more like a cloth wrapped randomly over his body. "Don't make it sound weird."

"How else should I fucking say it?" Annabeth snapped back, reading the test directions.

"Come on, Annabeth, I'm just trying to be here with you," Percy responded, running a hand through his blond curls.

Annabeth didn't know why she was snapping at him, why she was yelling at him, why she was doing her best to push him away. She didn't know how he still had patience with her; she didn't know why he wasn't running away. Come to think of it, there were a lot of things she didn't know, and it made her fucking crazy. Crazy enough to slam the door in the face of the man who loved her despite all of that.

After rereading the instructions for the tenth time, she opened the package, pulling the stick out of its plastic confines. Her hand shook as she analyzed the test, her stomach dropping farther than she thought was possible. For the first time since Tartarus, Annabeth felt hopeless; she felt truly helpless. This wasn't something she could defeat. This wasn't something she could stab with her dagger, and it would just disappear. This wasn't something she could study more and find the answers to. The fear it instilled in her was unlike anything she had experienced before; this tiny little plastic thing terrified her more than any monster, titan, giant, or god ever had. The more she looked at it, the more its fear overcame her; its whispers of answers and the future traveled to her ears, sending shivers down her back. For the first time in her entire life, she feared answers; she feared results, she, Annabeth Chase, feared knowledge.

She wasn't quite sure how she was able to complete the test with her heart beating and her hand shaking as bad as they were, but she did, though just barely. Somehow, she even managed to put the lid back on the test and wash her hands, placing the plastic stick on the counter. That was all before the room started spinning.

The room began doing laps around her, her eyes spinning around, watching as the white walls meshed together with the blue bathroom tile. In her ears, her heartbeat pounded like a manic drum, her breathing growing erratic, her entire body shaking like a sapling in a storm. Grabbing onto the edge of the countertop, she willed herself to stabilize, to come back down into reality, to survive the storm. She had almost gained control of herself, that is, until she glanced into the mirror.

The reflection that greeted her wasn't a stranger. It was her, through and through. And that's what scared her. Looking up at herself, she saw the golden laurel crooked in her curls, the chiton cloth that was barely covering her breasts at this point, the sweat trails ruining her makeup. She saw her battle scars, her grey streaked hair, her burn marks. She saw a 22-year-old demi-god. She saw a kid just out of college. She saw a battle-tested warrior. She saw someone still trying to figure out how to care for herself, how to depend on other people, how to be a part of the real world. She didn't see someone who had it all figured out. She didn't see someone able to grow a child, able to care for a child. She didn't see a mother.

As tears filled her eyes, blurring the image in front of her, she slowly sank to the ground, pulling her knees into her body, dipping her face into them in the hopes of hiding herself from the world, from her fears, from the image that she had just seen in front of her. As she cried into her knees, she desperately hoped they would dampen the sound of her wails from the person who was most definitely still standing outside of the door. Unfortunately, there was only so much her knees could do.

"Annabeth?" Percy asked, his voice filled with concern, making her heart break even more.

When she didn't respond, she heard the doorknob turn. "Annabeth, I'm coming in."

When the door opened slowly, she didn't have the strength to look up at him from the safety of her knees. Her hopelessness, helplessness, unknowingness weighed down upon her more than the weight of the sky had all those years ago. The only thing she knew in that moment: what she was doing to Percy wasn't fair; he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve her.

Percy didn't say anything while he joined her on the floor. He didn't say anything while he stroked her hair. He didn't say anything while he pressed kisses into her forehead. He didn't say anything when her snot dried on his bare skin or when her tears absorbed into his flesh. Instead, he just held her, held her like nothing else mattered. Held her like the world could've ended, and it wouldn't have mattered because he had her in his arms. Held her like they were falling into the pits of hell. Held her like his limbs hadn't fallen asleep long ago. And while he held her, his embrace told her all the things that his mouth wasn't saying. He told her how much he loved her, how much he cared for her, how much she meant to him, how he would never, ever let her go.

Annabeth didn't know how long they stayed like that, crumpled on the cold tiled floor, but she did know that the test had long ago revealed its answer, showing the ceiling whether their lives were about to be flipped upside down or not.

Through her haze of emotions, she somehow found the strength to speak. "I can't do it, Percy."

"Do what?" he asked sweetly, his voice rough, his thumb tracing circles along her spine.

"I can't look at it."

Percy was silent, as if formulating the words he was about to say, something he rarely ever did.

"Annabeth," he finally said, something about his tone making her lift her head to look him in the eyes.

"I have loved you for the past 10 years of my life, whether I knew that at the time or not. And yet, every day, I fall more and more in love with you—every single part of you. So I can say, with absolute certainty, that no matter what that test says, positive or negative, I will still love you," Percy said, more confident than Annabeth had ever heard him, power exuding through his words. "And I promise to keep on loving you. So whatever that test says, I want you to know that I'm in it for the long haul, Annabeth Chase. You and me, together. Forever. Because, as long as I have you, I know that everything will be okay."

When he finished, he took off his camp necklace, easily ripping off the excess leather cord from the end of the tie. Taking Annabeth's hand in his, he wrapped the piece around her left ring finger, looking up at her, hesitating to tie it together.

"As long as I have you..." Annabeth said softly, nodding her head, more tears forming in her eyes.

With that, Percy tied the piece together, forming a snug ring around her finger. When his hands left hers, the warmth stayed, radiating off of the simple piece of leather. The promise of their words hung in the air, propelling strength and hope into Annabeth.

Slowly, she raised her left hand to hold his face, her thumb moving softly against his smooth skin. As she looked into his eyes, she knew she had all the answers she needed; she still didn't know everything; she didn't know what the future held, but it didn't matter because she had him. Softly, she pressed a kiss to his mouth, his steadfast lips grounding her back into the world, tethering her down from the storm of fears she had just been stuck in.

When she pulled away, she felt in herself enough strength to pull herself to her feet, leaving the cold tiled floor that she had gotten to know so well. As her joints cracked, protesting from the awkward position she had kept them in for gods know how long, she held her hand out to Percy, returning some of the strength that he had just gifted her. Once he bid his own goodbye to the floor, she didn't let go of his hand, knowing she would still need his firm strength to keep her safe from the storm that still raged inside of her.

Slowly, she took the test in her hand, looking down at the answer that it provided, confirming what she had already known deep down.