Do you feel the need to mask a part of yourself when you are with your family? Is that convenient?
yea, so all my life i was the happy child. maybe even the glass child. my sister had mental issues for a couple of years and my parents always tried to help her. i didin't want to say what i feel, because they already have enough on their plate. and now my sister is doing great and i'm terrible, but i can't say anything, because my sister was the same age, as i am right now when it was bad for her. and there was one week where i started to get sick everyday at morning and i told my mom that, but she just said i have the same thing as my sister did. I HATE THAT. NONONONO. my sister used to faint every morning and my parents weren't at home most of the time, so i had to run to my neighbours for help. that and other things may cosed a bit of trauma but idk
so, i never been sad around my parents. and now when i feel depressed i just go take a nap or watch some movies so it would seem suspicious. i put a smile on my face and keep it unit i feel better.
in some ways it is convenient, because it feels like i'm not a burden to them, but it is bad too. the bad thing that they don't really know me. they don't know my bad side. they don't know a lot of stuff about me. like i never tell them that i go for a walk by myself, because that feels sad, i say that i'm going to gym with my friends. or i never told them how much i drink with my friends, because that looks sad, i say that i'm just going on a sleepover. and sometimes i get mixed up with those lies and forget what is true and what's not
YOU ARE READING
Shadow Work
RandomIt's like a diary, you can write too. Don't worry i'm not going to delete this book, i think it will be interesting to read it after a couple of years and remember how i felt about things
