All the love we unraveled (and the life i gave away)

One

The exhaustion goes bone deep. Skin feeling akin to something like a livewire, feeling the clothes clinging to his skin with every step he takes. Swallows what feels like bile rising in the back of his throat, ignoring the itch of a scream clawing its way through his chest. Begging to be released, let out any tension that's been growing under his skin since Scott had called him.

Because, he had been halfway to the You are now leaving Beacon Hills sign when his phone rang. He had been halfway to freedom, refusal on the tip of his tongue before Scott continued and Theo wasn't listening anymore, foot on the gas and freedom left behind. Didn't need to hear anything past Liam  and Trapped  before his body did what it does best and ran.

Except, this time he wasn't running from something, he was running to something. Someone.

It all passes in a blur, gunshots and yelling echoing in his ears alongside bitten words in an elevator that hold an entirely different and unspoken meaning.

I'm not dying for you.

I'm not dying for you either.

A heart skipping a beat, or two, Theo's pretty sure his brain stopped working the moment it registered. He's sure Liam's did too, by the way he sucks in a breath and turns his head from Theo, like it's hard to even look him in the eye.

Theo understands.

I will fight with you sounds a lot like hope, and Theo's not exactly full of that these days, wasn't even convinced he had any of that left in him, lost somewhere between hell and another goddamn elevator.

But Liam makes it hard not to feel invincible in his presence.

Okay, let's fight.

They make a good team, all things considered. Theo briefly wonders when this happened, when understanding Liams body language became second nature for him. Knowing when Liam moves right, he goes left. When he bends, Liam bounds over him. Wonders when it became so etched into his bones to protect Liam from the line of fire that he doesn't even realize he's shoving Liam ahead of himself until he's already running.

You! You're going first!

Thinks he knows it has something to do with the fact that he knows Liam deserves to survive this. Because, Liam is good. He doesn't deserve to have the burden of this life on his shoulders.

He stumbles his way to Gabe, vision blurring and heartbeat thudding in his ears. Knows this might not work, knows everyone is watching him, knows how devastating it would be if he couldn't pull this off. Thinks back on Masons words, how he was told he didn't care, and all Theo can think is I do, I do, I do. Please, understand this, understand i'm trying.

He's staring at Gabe and all he can see is himself at nine years old, manipulated into the life he has now, staring through the eyes of a body that doesn't even feel like his own most days.  Knows what it's like to let the fear consume you and fall into a hole you don't think you can get yourself out of.

The black veins trail up his arm and he tries not to fall apart. Leans in on himself as if pushing his knee into his chest will keep his insides from falling out. He feels cut open, feels like a shell of himself on display for everyone else to see.

Sitting here hurts. Existing hurts even more. But, he has the luxury of taking in another breath, ignoring the way it burns when his lungs expand, ignoring the ache that's just building, and building and building. He stands, palms sweaty, eyes downcast as his legs carry him to Liams side.

Does it hurt anymore?

No.

Good.