Beside You || Mifune x Reader

Chapter 5 REWRITTEN

Cold, hard rain hammers down on my skin. It mixes with the waterfall of tears. If only it could wash away the shattered fragments of my heart. But I could care less about the storm. Let it pour down on me. Let the thunder roll overhead and shake the ground I run on. Let the lightning crack and blind me for a split second as it strikes the trees around me.

A stray tree branch sticking out into the trail catches against my frozen skin. I yelp, grabbing my shoulder and continuing my sprint through the forest. My limbs have gone numb a while ago. And I am so out of breath between running and my sobs that I want to collapse on the ground and lie there. I debate it, not sure if I should even go back.

As I approach the place I have been calling home, I wonder if I am even welcome anymore. I was so horrible to Mifune. I told him that I did not need him. And while I am my own person, it does not matter if I need him or not. I like having him in my life. He just makes it better. After meeting him and Angela, it was the first time I felt like I was not alone in such a long time. I had friends, of course, but there always felt like some distance between myself and everyone else.

I pause at the edge of the forest, unsure if I should continue any further. Part of me wants to run inside and act as if nothing had happened in the morning. Even if my puffy face and bloodshot eyes gave away all my secrets of the night. But I know I would need to apologize. I want nothing more than to run to Mifune and apologize to him and say I was wrong. So, so wrong. Wrong, and stupid. Fuck, I was stupid to think that I could have had a life with Mike.

When using my magic, I could feel everything that Mike was feeling. Satisfaction and desire. Nothing else. It was all directed towards himself. He wanted nothing more than to use me for his own satisfaction. And I bet that when morning come he would just push me aside as he left for his next great endeavour. The girls were right. He was a fuckboy. And I pushed him off of me and ran away once I knew that he could never care about me in the way I want him to.

Not only that, but I carelessly tossed away Mifune's concerns like they were nothing. He has a job to do. And he was just trying to look out for me. He was concerned for my safety. I ignored him and pushed him away. A pit forms in my stomach at the thought of being the reason to have upset or worry him.

My scream is drowned out by the thunder. Silenced by the sky that knows I do not deserve to be upset over all that I caused. My chest pains me as I fall to my knees. The exhaustion catches up to me all at once and I fall completely to the ground. The dirt and gravel cause more hurt, yet I could not care less. All I can manage to do is curl into a ball and cry into my hands.

I exhaust myself crying. Giving up has never felt so easy. I relax into the ground, letting the rain continue pelting down onto my skin. The striking cold dulls as it hits my skin. All that energy I spent crashes and I feel myself growing tired. Maybe the rain will stop when I wake up, and I can figure out what to do next then.

In that moment I think the rain stops suddenly. After a second I gather my senses that an overhead storm will not give up as easily as I am. There is still the harsh sound of rain against the dirt. I freeze, not daring to move an inch. If I lie still enough, maybe I will blend in with the dark ground and disappear from whoever lurks above me. I fear I know who it is. And they validate my fear as they speak.

"You came back."

I bite my lip, not wanting to say a single word. I can already hear the squeak of my voice if I even dare try. What would I say anyway? Is there anything I could say to fix this? Or did I royally screw it up beyond all repair?

Out of the corner of my eyes, through my arms that pull my head towards my chest, I watch as Mifune kneels down in front of me. My breath shakes as I try to breathe in. He places his warm hand on my shoulder, causing a sob to escape from my lungs. His warmth withdraws quickly. And I find myself craving his touch, that comforting touch, to find its way back to me.

"I'm so sorry." It is only a whisper; the best I could manage.

"You'll catch cold out here," he responds simply. The words of his concern echoes in my mind. It calms me from crying and brings me back to reality. My body shakes, but only from the cold now. I slowly drop my hands from my head and move to hug myself to preserve what little warmth I have. Yet I dare not look at Mifune in the eye. After everything, I do not even want to know his thoughts about me.

Instead, I watch as he extends his hand. I reach out and grab it. And everything starts to feel a little more okay. A bit more manageable. My eyes follow along his arm and up to his face. That usual stoic look on his face that has never failed to amaze me. He holds an umbrella over us that has been blocking out the rain.

His fingers tighten over my hand, dragging me up with him as we both stand. I cannot bear all the emotions bottled up inside of me. Hurt, anger, fear, exhaustion, and the slightest bit of relief and happiness. Despite all that pain Mike put me through I have someone in my life that is still looking out for me. Someone that, even when I pushed them away from me, will still be there looking out for me. Without thinking, I throw myself at Mifune and wrap my arms around him into a hug, holding him as if he were my lifeline. He is quick to hug me back and hold me tight against him.

Magic channels into my hands. It is something that I should use. If not for the sole purpose of because I am a witch who is capable, but also as a way to gain knowledge. I want to know how he feels. Maybe then I will know what to do next.

I gather the magical energy, summoning a speck of his strongest emotions to me as I gently touch his soul. As my soul consumes them, I feel exactly what he is feeling and try to rationalize them. Only one jumps out as strange. Amidst the fear and hurt, above all else Mifune is relieved. I want to ask why, but before I can I stop before he knows I used my magic on him. The connection ends as I stop casting magic and step away from him.

Without any words, Mifune guides me back inside. His hand does not leave mine all the while. We twist and turn down the familiar halls. And I freeze as we pass the spot where we had our fight. Mifune looks back, and pulls me past it, leaving it behind us as he brings me back to my room.

He guides me to my bed. I sit down and our hands fall apart. As soon as they do I want to reach out again for him. He has brought me so much comfort into my soul. It soothes over all that had happened in the forest. I should tell him. He has a right to know.

"You were right." I fall back onto my bed. "He never loved me. He never even cared. I was foolish to think that anyone could feel that way about me."

"Did he hurt you?" Mifune asks. He walks towards the bed. I move over as he starts to crawl in to join me.

"No;" tears start to fall again. I cannot control them as I reflect back on being in the tent with Mike. Even thinking his name makes my heart break. "But I have never felt like this before. It hurts so much."

Mifune's hand holds my side as he lays beside me. It travels up my back as he brings me in close to him.

"He does not deserve to make you feel that way. And he means nothing."

Our eyes lock. I gaze into his rather stunning eyes and his stare back into mine. He has always been an attractive man. But now, with him lying beside me in my dark room on my bed, I can really see how strikingly handsome he really his. For a moment my eyes flicker to his lips. And I blush at even the thought of it. Yet when I try to focus on his eyes, his appear to be looking down. His hand traces up to gently hold the back of my head, bringing it closer to him. I find myself grabbing at his shirt. My eyes instinctively close. In a few painfully long moments, he finally closes the gap between us. Our lips melt together. My heart leaps in my chest as he kisses me, soft and slow. And as we part I crave him even more. His words, just a whisper, make me realize what attraction to him I never realized I had buried and stifled.

"I won't let anyone hurt you anymore, I swear."