Music Teacher

Chapter 8

Leaving the diner was pretty awkward. Not between Max and I, or because of Josh(?). But because we were already here, in Portland, so it gave us this sense of, "now what?" Where do we go from here? In that moment I was reminded of Pocahontas and had to keep myself from belting out in song. Seriously though, what now? We were in the same city as my parents, but who do we ask? Where in the city do we look?

I huffed out in frustration. I should've planned this out instead of just letting my excitement get to me and control me. I'd reached my destination, but ironically enough it was a dead end.

We were standing right outside the diner still. Looking back and forth from left to right, watching the cars pass by, not knowing which way to go. For a flash-of-a-moment, it felt like something out of a retro picture. I looked over to Max, who was already looking at me with the same expression I was giving him. Now what?

We shrugged at each other. But I was hoping he would have some sort of idea. Because if he shrugged too, then that meant that this was all failing for real! I didn't know where to start looking and I didn't want to ask for my stupid fear of being sent back to the orphanage. I was already so close I wasn't about to go back again. Worry and fear started to overwhelm me, my breathing picked up, I started fidgeting, and my throat started hurting from the sobs that threatened to escape. Soon, I wouldn't be able to hold them back any longer. I opened my mouth to breathe, and just like that the tears started spilling from my eyes like raging waterfalls. My knees gave up and I was on the floor, my hands supporting me. It was the second time that day that I was crying, and the time periods weren't even that far apart. And for the second time that day, Max was the one to hold me. He didn't even question why I was crying, as if he already knew himself. I clung to his arm, bringing my hand up between my nose and his jacket, so as to not stain it. At the same time he brought his hand up to my head and started massaging it, shushing me and telling me it was all going to be okay. Even thought knew he was just as confident as me right now, but for some reason I chose to believe him anyway, I knew he'd help me. I unwrapped myself from him, bringing my sleeve up to my nose and wiped. Max helped me up at the same time the door opened behind us. It was the name tag-less guy.

"Hey," he said. He looked like he'd ran out of the diner with how exasperated he looked, as if afraid he'd missed us - giving by his sigh and look of relief.

"Hi," Max answered back.

"You guys left this at your table." It was Max's military green jacket.

"Oh, thanks man!" Max said, taking it it from the guy.

"No problem," he paused, awkwardly. "I'm Josh," he said, after no one did.

"Nice to meet you," Max smiled, holding out his hand. "I'm Max, this is Ray."

"Hi," I finally said. I didn't look at him for long, embarrassed of what my face might look like. Like I'd been in the sun too long probably.

"You guys okay?" Josh asked slowly.

"Yeah, yeah. Uh, just havin' some destination issues," Max tried explaining. He put his arm around me.

"Really? Well, I could probably help."

"No, well, we're already sort of here. It's just a matter of, where, here?" Max said.

"You're looking for someone?" Josh asked.

"Yes. We just don't exactly know who...yet." Max rubbed my arm with his thumb.

The short silence that came after, while Josh took the time to come up with his next words, was almost deafening-considering where it was that we were standing. My gaze was still to the floor, or it could've been Josh's worn-out converse, I don't know. My mind was reeling with hopeless thoughts, I was zoned out I wasn't paying attention. I could only imagine what I might look like to Portland's citizens as they passed us. Something out of a zombie game I assumed. But I didn't care, they probably wouldn't be seeing me for long anyway, there was only one way to go at a dead end, and that was back. I trusted Max. And that trust wasn't exactly by choice, I had no choice. The moment we found each other at that abandoned car, that trust was automatically imposed. He was my confidante. But I couldn't get rid of this trapped feeling.