After I saw that he is fine, that makes me feel good too.
If he is finally free, happy with new people who understand him, that makes me feel good, even if it is, that he is fine
Right now he thinks I'm a victim of what happened 2 weeks ago, or that I'm trying to manipulate, I don't blame him for thinking that, but on the other hand it doesn't seem fair to me.
He can dedicate videos of how he felt, but I can't, because otherwise I would be the one who attacks...
But it doesn't matter, I don't need to dedicate anything to it, I prefer to move on and leave what I will one day call friendship behind.
I am finally calm and at peace after these 2 weeks, with my friends and my mother I was able to forget this that broke my heart so much
Not being able to explain or talk to him just because he doesn't understand anything I say or he prefers to think that I'm a bad person.
But I don't hate him, I don't insult him and I never will, he is a person too and deserves to be happy too.
I do not victimize myself if he continues to think that by indirectly dedicating videos to me
If for you, victimizing me means forgetting our problem, sorry if I made you think that way.
The only thing I want is for you to leave the hate and resentment behind, forget our problem and move forward as I am trying to do, meet people who truly love you, who care for you, who doesn't make you cry darling...
I know that right now you don't want to see me, and I understand it, I'm not angry and much less I hate you, I just want to try to fix myself and not hurt more people like I did to you that day.
Just because I only listened to myself like a selfish person and I didn't listen to you, before I didn't know why you did all this, but now that 2 weeks have passed I'm trying to understand.
Every day I think about everything I said to you and I saw how cruel I was to you, you repeated my phrases when I hurt you, I did this to you, I did this to myself
But at the end of the day I am a human being, the human being is the worst creation of God, the human being is the being that made the most mistakes
Now that I see you well without me, that already made me understand that I was a burden for you.
I tell you this;
"Don't change your way of being, you are very special to many people who love you"
"You are a very pretty girl/boy in your own way."
"You are free to make decisions and it is true that you also have the right to be heard and understood."
"love yourself dear"
"I can't support you anymore, but you are not alone, you have special people who love you, just like those people, love yourself"
"Dedicate yourself to what your heart and mind want and love"
"take care"
-HIKARU
