I Just Wanna Be Me

Part 1 "Van Gogh's Sunflowers"

08-27-2023.

Today is my first day of classes at P4 high school, I am nervous, I want to make friends, I love talking to people, I hope they have an art workshop, I am fascinated by art, my favorite work is Sunflowers by Van Gogh, returning to the topic I just want today to be an excellent day, I'm really excited, my twin sister has stayed in the same classroom as me, so I already have someone to hang out with, I won't spend this day alone.

08-27-2023 My day is over, remember I feel tired, my sister managed to make friends, however I spent the whole day alone, the other students only saw me and made fun of me for bringing a rainbow bracelet, try to Not to take her, I just want to have friends to hang out with and hang out with, I'm going to sleep, tomorrow will be another day, I hope it's better than this one.

08-28-2023 Another day has ended, this time it was better, I already made a best friend who is also gay, I really fell in love with him, he is a tall boy, with black hair, chubby, and he is very cute, I am looking forward to see him again, I want it to be tomorrow, I'll go to sleep again.

09-03-2023
This day everything has gone in my favor, today my best friend proposed to me, now we are dating, I was really waiting for this moment, I feel so great, we talked all day, he loves to get the relationship going very quickly Today we had our first kiss. I want to see him again.

09-04-2023
I feel terrible, my boyfriend gave me flowers, I came home and my mother asked "where did you get that from?" I told her that my boyfriend gave them to me and she started insulting me, she told me things that I will never forget, her words hurt my heart a lot, she said "You are a weirdo, I want a normal son, I don't want an effeminate son, you are just another piece of trash in this world." I just want to sleep, wake up being a child again, and live without worries.

09-05-2023
Today I haven't gone to school, I feel very bad, my mother has gone out to work, my boyfriend has come home, he has sneaked in through the window, I'm afraid that my mother will come back early and catch my boyfriend here, my mother is capable of anything, I really just want to be in bed, I don't want to move from this place, it's my safe place.
He wrote me these two songs:

{Max, oh Max, with eyes so bright,
In your presence, everything feels right.
Your laughter dances like a melody sweet,
With every heartbeat, you make my world complete.

This love song for you, my dear Max,
In every note, I confess the facts.
With each verse, my heart beats anew,
Forever entwined, just me and you.

Max, oh Max, your smile's a sunbeam,
In your embrace, I find my dream.
Through stormy seas or skies of blue,
Hand in hand, we'll see it through.

This love song for you, my dear Max,
In every note, I confess the facts.
With each verse, my heart beats anew,
Forever entwined, just me and you.

In your name, I'll sing forevermore,
With each chord, my love will soar.
For you, dear Max, are my endless rhyme,
In this love song, till the end of time.

This love song for you, my dear Max,
In every note, I confess the facts.
With each verse, my heart beats anew,
Forever entwined, just me and you.

Max, oh Max, my love, my joy,
In your arms, I've found my buoy.
This love song, a testament true,
For you, dear Max, I'll always renew}

{In fields of gold, where sunflowers sway,
I found a love that brightens my day.
Like Van Gogh's strokes, vibrant and true,
My heart paints pictures, all inspired by you.

Oh, sunflowers of love, in hues so bright,
You fill my world with endless light.
With petals soft and hearts entwined,
Our love, like sunflowers, forever will shine.

Each bloom, a promise of love's embrace,
In your eyes, I see Van Gogh's grace.
With every glance, my soul takes flight,
Lost in the beauty of our love's light.

Oh, sunflowers of love, in hues so bright,
You fill my world with endless light.
With petals soft and hearts entwined,
Our love, like sunflowers, forever will shine.

Like Van Gogh's masterpiece, our love's divine,
A masterpiece painted, yours and mine.
Through storms and sunshine, we'll stand tall,
In fields of love, we'll give our all.

Oh, sunflowers of love, in hues so bright,
You fill my world with endless light.
With petals soft and hearts entwined,
Our love, like sunflowers, forever will shine.

So here's my love song, inspired by art,
A tribute to you, the beat of my heart.
In fields of gold, our love will bloom,
Like Van Gogh's sunflowers, banishing gloom}