Lotf Oneshots cus I'm Cringe

Headcanons That I Thought Of At 11pm

Lotf headcanons
(it will be OBVIOUS when said hcs are on the island, if some are general and if some are way pre/post island)
Ralphs parents are divorced, but still live under the same roof
They are also christian, but ralph only pays attention to the praying part

Ralph has an older sister named sabrina. She looks like a girl version of ralph [will put tiny picture here eventually],  the kind of sister to  say ‘get out of my room’ but then give up because why say it twice

Ralph fucks with sabrina’s makeup and sends it to the friend gc like a little hoe

Because of piggy's auntie, piggy says ‘cheese and crackers’ on a regular basis because cursing is bad

Ralph is a pitbull listener, but will always listen to white girl music with simon because they are amazing

SamnEric have heterochromia

Adult Roger would get a death eater tattoo. He wouldn't know what it means, he would just think it looks cool. The only Harry Potter stuff he knows is from Maurice, who just blurts out random shit, i.e; the house names he remembers from fucking, middle school. That's  it.

RANDOM MOMENT IN TIME, Ralph, in college, once drank too much and puked out of the dorm window. No context unless wanted

Jack continues to be in choir until college, THAT WHEN HE DECIDES IT'S A GOOD TIME TO STOP SINGING C SHARP. Obviously the others fall suit

Piggy and Ralph are like brothers from other mothers, except piggy’s mother is dead. They are just seen together hanging out a lot, along with simon, so yea

Simon has a pet lizard, his name is Tommy. He may or may not have an army in the future

Roger has a rock collection for no reason

Maurice uses axe body spray, and Jack steals it so he can use it

Percival has light up sketchers, obviously

Jack would like wine as an adult, specifically the red wine from the gas station because he’s ✨fancy✨
But Jack would live in one of those apartment buildings that are sandwiched between two other different buildings, hence why the wine is from a gas station

Simon would NEVER pet a dog without permission, and would scold his friends if any of them did so

Simon would knit sweaters then wear them. During christmas he would force sweaters on his friends for fun

Whenever Jack feels like it (or when he can), he will literally dress in the laziest outfit, i.e; tshirt and a pair of shorts he found in his dorm laundry that might be his. This freckled man is the next adam sandler
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RELATIONSHIP IN MY SKETCHBOOK-WISE: simon and ralph were the first ones to link,  then jack moved in (he didn't know about simon already dating ralph, jack wanted to date ralph). Then Ralph settled for 2 people. Thankfully, they all loved eachother

Other relationship on the island: Maurice just started being nice to roger. He got on Roger's good side but Roger did find Maurice annoying at times. Maurice kept bringing Roger sticks and things and just kept moving closer without saying anything and Roger went with it. They went from homiesexuals to homosexuals
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BACK TO THE NORMAL AND RANDOM STUFF: jack is a gray sweatpants type of guy. Unless he was going somewhere nice or it was important it was gray sweatpants season for this dude. He probably did his college finals in gray sweatpants

Ralph has a collection of blue jeans, either baggy or skinny jeans. No in betweens (he secretly has more skinny jeans)

Maurice has a pokemon card collection and roger mixes it up with magic the gathering. Maurice gets mad cus rogers doing this on purpose

Simon has a purse. What does he keep in that purse? Mace, sunglasses and those on the go kleenex tissues that every mom has at soccer practice

Piggy and Simon are the ‘moms’ of the group. They make sure nobody dies, but sometimes simon slips away and becomes part of that problem so in some cases it's just piggy

If Ralph were to ever date a girl (99.8% most likely not but  whatever), I have a feeling he would go hella stereotypical ‘mAnLy MaN’. Offer you his jacket, be his job to open the door, other stuff. Thankfully that's not gonna happen

Jack has a pink phone case with one of those pom poms on it. He has dropped his pretty pink iphone at LEAST once

Maurice is a victim of temu. He has a dumb holographic jacket from temu that shines because that's how shiny works. He has also bought Roger a pair of socks that immediately shrank in the wash

Jack, Ralph and Simon sleep like little Russian nesting dolls. From left to right; Jack, Ralph, and Simon hanging off the bed cus he's like that. Either that or simons arm right across ralphs face

Simon is a brunch guy, he would like the breakfast-lunch part, and then the mimosas(optional)

Ralph, like a HomeGoods addict, has a mug collection. Nobody can touch them and the others have to use the clear glasses, if you use his mugs he will screech

Ralph grew up in the suburbs, thats why hes a little bitch

Piggys hands are clammy, they seem clammy

Because they are boys (and realistically 12), they don't know what a period is, only knowing the end sentence dot[.]. The island boys think the word is just funny, and that the word looks like jack, so they call jack ‘period boy’ because it's a funny word. Probably only piggy knows what a period is to a point because of his auntie (not giving context unless wanted) and he keeps trying to explain to Ralph what a period actually is but he's just like ‘wtf, u serious? Nah’

Whenever Simon holds hands with either Jack or Ralph (cringy, i know), he would play with their fingers

Jack calls calzones ‘folded pizzas’

Ralph is the boxer boyfriend, while Jack and Simon actually wear pajama pants to bed

Simon’s mom is french and his dad is british, so simon is french british and because of that, sometimes he spits when he talks too fast because of the accents

Maurice and SamnEric are pranksters, they prank
(I'm not done, might make a part 2 if I feel silly)