All About My Brother

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Gossip Girl: "Spotted: Jenny Humphrey wading in the Met fountain, fishing for change... Blair Waldorf, seen dallying with an off-duty doorman at the Blarney Stone on a Monday night. It looks like the battle Between the Queen B and Little J has moved from the streets to the blogs. Who's sending this debasing dish? I have a feeling..."

Blair: A nice, shiny dime to add to your collection?

alisha: Why the fruit cup, B? Lost your taste for yogurt?

[some of the girls laugh]

Blair: ... So what are we doing tonight?

Penelope: Asher's parents are in Cannes, so he and Jenny are throwing a party at his house.

Jenny: It's a really small get-together with just our closest friends. Sorry, Blair.

Nelly Yuki: Blair can take my place.

Jenny, to Nelly Yuki: Invitations are nontransferable. (to Blair) She's new to the group.

Blair: Just because your name's on the invite doesn't make you a hostess.

Jenny, answering phone: Oh? Then why is the party planner calling me? Excuse me, girls.

[jenny then walks away to answer her phone and walks back over]

Jenny: Sorry. Floral emergency. Oh, and you will be happy to know that the entire Unity Lacrosse team RSVP'd.

Penelope: Oh my God, it's Asher.

Jenny, dragging the girls off: Let's go say hi.


[later]

[alisha sees wyatt and she pulls him in a kiss]

alisha, kissing Dan: What? You're here! Mmm, and you're late.

wyatt: I know. I come bearing apologies and an invitation. What are you up to tonight?

alisha: I know what I'm not up to. Having fun. The college advisor from columbia was over for about 4 hours going over my application...

wyatt: Mm. So this advisor, is he... Is he cute?

alisha: Mm, well, if hair in the ear is your thing...

wyatt, kissing her: I see your point. So then how about, um, dinner tonight with Sarah instead?

alisha: Oh, Sarah again. What is she, your brother's new girlfriend or something?

wyatt: Yeah. Just kidding. But she's new in town, and she does want to meet you.

alisha: Well, my dad is out of town, I already agreed to a quiet family dinner with my mom. I'm sorry. What about tomorrow?

wyatt, distracted by Jenny and Asher making out in the courtyard: ...No, my... My sister and tongue. The two things that don't go together so well.

alisha: Oh! Lighten up. You have been down on him since the beginning. Give him a chance and then judge. Maybe he'll surprise you, like I did.

wyatt: How are you always so right?

alisha: It's easy when you're always wrong. Hey, you got first period free. Why don't you go get to know him? Go!

wyatt: Okay. Okay. All right, okay.

[alisha then smiles and leaves]


[next day]

[The girls make their way down the hall, reading Gossip Girl.]

Gossip Girl: "This just in: Asher Hornsby spotted locking lips before class... But not with his girlfriend. Looks like gentlemen don't prefer blondes, Little J. They prefer other gentlemen."

Hazel, laughing: Now you know how Vanessa Hudgens feels.

Gossip Girl: "Is this just another round of blanks fired between B and Little J? I'm tired of being the bearer of bad grudges. This is the last item that goes to press without proof."

Isabel: I'm so glad Gossip Girl finally got her balls back.

Penelope: Yeah, she was totally turning into the new Page Six.

alisha: don't listen to them...besides you can't believe everything you see or hear from gossip girl...

jenny: thanks alisha

(Blair runs into them coming the other way.)

Jenny: Low blow.

Blair: Wasn't me. Wish it was!


Constance hallway

Penelope: Nothing new on Gossip Girl for three hours. Guess she wasn't kidding about her new standards.

Serena, twirling Jenny around: Hey, Jenny! Sorry I can't chat, but have so much fun at your party tonight!

Penelope: She's totally running to a booty call with your brother.

Jenny: I cannot believe you just went there.

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