The Radio Ninja

Chapter 1

Alastor is humming a tune while eating breakfast, when suddenly he freezes, feeling a small fragment of his soul return to him. "That's odd." He says, setting his fork and knife down. "She should've lived far longer than that." A slightly worried expression forms on his face, before he opens a portal and steps through, finding the corpse of a red-haired woman on the other side. "Cut down in your prime, how sorrowful." He says, kneeling beside her and closing her eyes. "Enjoy paradise, my friend."

Suddenly, he hears crying behind him, causing him to turn to the source, eyes widening as they land on a newborn boy, one who has the same ears and antlers as he does. Realizing who the child is, Alastor picks him up and gently calms him down, before turning him over and getting a look at his back, spotting a pair of budding wings and a deer tail, confirming what he was thinking.

"So, Kushina, our deal came into effect only for you to die when it did." Alastor says, gently cradling the infant in his arms. "How sad. Do not worry though, my dear. You enjoy your afterlife, I will protect and raise your son in your place. Now then, what to name you?" He says, looking at Kushina's corpse, and then to the infant.

"Put Naruto down and step away from him." A powerful voice orders from behind Alastor, causing him to turn to face the speaker, raising an eyebrow as he recognizes him as Hiruzen Sarutobi, the third hokage.

"Now why would I do that?" Alastor asks. "I promised Kushina that I would protect any children she might have when I met her years ago, and I ensure to do exactly that."

Hiruzen raises an eyebrow. "Did you now? I don't suppose you have any proof of that, do you?"

"Why, my name alone should be proof if she told you about me." Alastor says, conjuring a crib to place Naruto in before summoning his staff and bowing slightly. "Allow me to properly introduce myself. I, am Alastor. It's a pleasure to finally meet you in person."

Hiruzen narrows his eyes. "She did. She also told me that you're a demon and a sadist, so forgive me if knowing who you are doesn't make me more inclined to trust you with her son."

Alastor chuckles. "Fair enough. How about this, let's make a deal." He says, extending his hand to Hiruzen. "You step aside and allow me to raise Naruto as my son, and I promise not to start any trouble or take Naruto out of Konoha for anything other than Vacation, training, or emergencies."

Hiruzen thinks it over for a second, before making an addition. "On any training trips that last longer than a week, you have to remain in contact with me or whoever ends up replacing me as Hokage in the event of my death, submitting truthful progress reports at the end of every week."

Alastor hums in thought, before shrugging. "Fair enough. So, it's a deal then?" As he asks, a green light emits from his extended hand, which intensifies when Hiruzen grabs it.

"Deal."

Alastor then turns and picks Naruto up from the crib, which then dematerializes into shadows. "Now then, you don't mind if I claim part of the forest do you? I intend to build a proper home to raise my son in. I can't have him growing up in some rinkey-dink shack, now can I?"

Hiruzen sighs, before walking over to Kushina's corpse and picking it up and creating a shadow clone to pick up Minato's, which Alastor had yet to notice until now. "Come with me, I'll drop off Minato and Kushina's bodies at the morgue, then I'll help you find somewhere to build your home."

"Hmmm... Very well." Alastor says, de-summoning his staff and following behind Hiruzen.

———————

"Read 'em and weep, fellas! Royal flush." Husk says, slamming his cards into the table. Suddenly, the world shifts and he finds himself falling flat on his ass. "The fuck!?"

"Language, Husker." Alastor says from behind him. "You're in the presence of my newborn son."

Husk leaps to his feet, turning to face his owner with rage on his face. "I was about to win the whole damn pot you fuck!" He yells, before Alastor's words register in his mind. "Wait, SON!? YOU HAVE A SON!? SINCE WHEN!?"

Alastor levels him with a glare, causing him to shrink in on himself. "I said to watch your language, Husk. Also, keep your voice down, Naruto just went to sleep."

Husk glances down at the object in Alastor's arms, his eyes widening as he sees an infant with ears and antlers that match Alastor's, albeit his hair is blond and spiky unlike Alastor's smooth red hair. "Ughhh, why did you summon me this time? Also, how did that even happen?" He asks, gesturing to the infant in Alastor's arms as he asks the second question. "Aren't us sinners supposed to be completely sterile?"

"Why that's simple, Husker. I made a deal with his mother that, in exchange for a few favors, I would ensure the safety and strength of any children she had. I had no part in his conception or birth, but to fulfill part of my side of the deal, I placed a small fragment of my soul within her body that would alter any children she had, imprinting them with my power and giving them features like my own. Those being the wings, antlers, ears, and tail. He'll be able to utilize all of the powers that I can in the future, as well." Alastor explains. "As for why I summoned you? I need you to keep an eye on Naruto for a bit while I construct a home to raise him in."

Husk raises an eyebrow. "You? Raising a kid? That's a terrible idea. What happened to his actual parents?"

"They're dead, Husk. The soul fragment I placed in his mother returned to me when she died, which is how I found out about him in the first place."

Husk's eyes widen. "Oh! Sh-" Alastor raises an eyebrow. "Crap. You sure that there's nobody better to raise him?"

"Husker, why would I have someone else raise my son? I am his father, I will raise him. I will not allow him to grow up fatherless like I did. My mother did her best, but she could never quite make up for the lack of a father. I may have played no part in Naruto's conception, but I am part of what he is, so he is my son, and I WILL raise him." Alastor says sternly.

Husk sighs, before looking Alastor dead in the eyes, seeing small bit of life and humanity which he never had before, causing him to realize that raising Naruto will probably be good for him. "You know what? I'm gonna help. Raise him, that is. I won't try to be a second dad, I just can't see myself being a good one, but I can be an uncle, so I will.

Alastor's grin widens. "That's a splendid idea! Now, hold on to him for a moment, will you? I have been talking to you and as such have yet to build the house."

Husk shrugs, gently taking Naruto from Alastor's arms, a small smile forming on his face as he looks down at the infant's sleeping face.