The Caretaker | Levi x OC

Chapter 11

Karma didn't know how long she'd been sprawled on her bed, staining the fancy goosefeather pillows with black mascara and gold eyeshadow. She imagined Levi was still at the after party: Light conversation over pleasant refreshment, quiet murmurs about the girl who had sprinted through the exit doors in tears.

This was sure to stain her public image-it might even compromise the whole fake romance-unless Wickham was kind enough to tamper the rumors, which she imagined he was. Had the roles been reversed and she had been professing her love to Wickham, he surely would have chased after her. Would've kissed her on the spot. There would have been applause and champagne bubbles.

But not Levi.

She'd loved Wickham before, maybe she could do it again. Her music program was just two weeks away, and there would be ample time to forget about Levi while being taught by the most beautiful piano teacher to exist. She could forget the almost-kiss. Forget the hug and conversations over tea. Forget it all.

Perhaps this is what happened between him and the Scouts. One look at that photo and she knew they shared everything together. Their meals and laughter. Their fears and desires. Did he mock their laughter? Dismiss those fears?

As if summoned, his knuckle rapped on her door. It was gentle, as if it hoped not to be heard. Karma wanted to tell him to go away and leave her to stew in her hurt and anger, but her tongue wouldn't move.

Taking her silence as an invitation, Levi rolled into the room. He was still in his nice concert attire. He moved closer, into the light of her nightstand lamp. His sudden presence made the dress feel tight around her chest.

"You mind?" He pointed to the bed.

Wordlessly, Karma scooted over and watched him sit on the edge, his back to her. She could just make out his profile and tried unsuccessfully to read his expression, though it felt like he was building up to an apology. She was eager to spike it down.

"I would've come sooner, but I had to rectify the scene we caused." He drew a deep sigh, gathering his words. "I'm not good at expressing my emotions."

"No shit."

"Your song was beautiful. Music has never touched me like that before. That's what I should've said."

"It's alright. I'm used to your hostility by now." Karma studied the grooves of her knuckles. His profile was still visible in her peripheral. She watched him shake his head.

"Don't waste your love on me. You don't know the full story."

Karma's eyes darted up, mouth snapping shut. He had her full attention.

Levi paused, gnawing the inside of his cheek. "You're gonna fucking hate me." He cradled his face in both palms. Karma waited. Eventually, he raised his head. "Ever wonder why I don't drink wine?"

Karma didn't answer, not wanting to disrupt his momentum.

"During the war, we got a shipment of wine from Marley. Like the idiot that I am, I let my men drink it. There were thirty of us."

Karma choked down her questions. She could tell Levi was about to reveal something deeply personal. Maybe even sacred. The reason he believed himself undeserving of love. She wondered if this was the first time he'd recounted it.

Levi's knuckles paled. "Just our shit luck, the wine was tainted. They turned when Zeke screamed, but..."

Karma had heard about what happened when Eldians ingested Titan spinal fluid, but it seemed like a legend. Spinal fluid was mostly water.

"I killed them-I didn't even hesitate. They were my own men, and I killed them."

She kept her lips tight.