The New World (Final Fantasy XIII) - Hope Estheim x [Reader]

Breakdown

That night, Snow had left before Hope. It was a simple goodbye between you, until he joked around with Hope, which ended in you laughing and Hope pushing Snow out the door. An hour had passed after Snow's leave, and Hope was worried about leaving you alone.

"A-Are you sure you'll be alright?" He asked, for what you believed to be the million time. You sighed, not sure why he cared so much about your well being.

"Yes, Hope. I'll be alright." You almost had the force the words out of your mouth, and you did have to force a smile upon your face. He seemed to believe you, which allowed you some relief. "Now go, before you're late to work." With a gentle push and haste goodbye, he finally left.

You sighed as your thoughts began to plague you, and as much as you pushed them away, they kept coming back.

You're not attractive.

A low growl escaped your throat as you raked your fingers through your hair in frustration. You came across a knot, and suddenly anger flashed in your eyes. You sped your way into the kitchen, yanking open drawers until you came across a pair of scizzors. You then found yourself heading to the bathroom, where you looked yourself in the mirror. Your long sandy blonde hair cascaded down your back, reaching your waist. Sure, there were a few knots at the moment, but it was still beautiful nonetheless.

According to HIM, you weren't beautiful.

With a cry of anger, you started snipping at your hair, cutting off long, uneven chunks. You cut again and again, until all that was left was a uneven mop upon your head. For christs sake, it was shorter than Snow's hair now! You took a good look at yourself in the mirror, and broke down crying.

You're selfish.

You shook your head violently, silently begging the thoughts to go away. You didn't want to be depressed. You didn't want to be a burden upon your family and friends.

Want. Want. Want.

You're worthless.

You cried for what seemed like forever, until your sobs were reduced to loud, painful hiccups. You sobered up enough from your crying to be able to think straight, finally able to push away the negative thoughts. You saw the mess of hair on the floor and took initiative to start cleaning it up. After the hair was all thrown away, you sighed and took another look at your reflection. You grimaced at the sight of your hair, so you grabbed the scizzors and went at it again. You weren't a professional, but you made it at least look even and decent. You cleaned up your mess, then headed out into the livingroom.

"What the hell have I done?" You mumbled to no one in particular as you ran a hand through your short hair. It could've been worse, you knew that, but you would definately miss your long hair.

And when the guys get home...

You shook your head, dispelling the thought. You knew Snow would be worried, but he would love you nonetheless.

But HE never loved you.

No one could ever love you.

Instead of plopping down on the couch, you made your way into Snow's bedroom. You needed comfort, and the scent of him would have to do. You grabbed one of his old hoodies from the closet and put it on, then snuggled into his bed. You caught his scent on his pillow and a small smile graced your lips, but didn't last long. You were soon lost in your thoughts of the man who betrayed you, and you cried yourself to sleep.

"Ai?!"

You heard shouting, but it wasn't quite enough to wake you from your slumber.

"Where the hell is she?! Ai!"