Playing it Straight

Chapter 18

When Lily woke up, she was surrounded by the scent of vanilla, the scent she had come to associate with Charlie. She remembered the events of last night and how wonderful it was to spend her favorite holiday with someone she cared about so much, someone who knew her inside and out. It was amazing to realize that Charlie liked her just as she was, no performance necessary.  As she lay in bed snuggled up to Charlie, she could feel Charlie's heart beat, and it reminded her of how right everything felt.  And Lily was genuinely surprised that no one seemed to care about any of it. No one gave them dirty looks as they held hands; no one even looked twice when they kissed at midnight. All of this gave Lily hope that things would be okay. Maybe she was making too big of a deal about things. Maybe no one would even care if she and Charlie were together. Back at school, it was always like they were in their own little bubble, always just the two of them. Safe and protected, but sometimes, the bubble got cramped and stuffy. Last night was so nice because they were able to allow some air in and act like this wasn't just some dirty little secret.

That thought felt like a punch to the chest, the thought that she had been hiding Charlie away. She thought it was to protect Charlie, but maybe that wasn't all it was. She knew she wanted to protect herself too. She has never felt like this in any relationship. When she was near Charlie, she felt at peace. If they weren't together, she thought about everything she wanted to share when they would eventually talk. Everything made her think of Charlie, and even the smallest touch made her feel like she was flying. And yes, she was attracted to Charlie. Of course she was; Charlie was gorgeous. But that wasn't all. She was brilliant and funny, kind and compassionate. Lily was in awe of her strength and resilience; Charlie was one of the most amazing people Lily had ever known. 

Holy shit. She bolted up. Love. That's what this feeling was. She didn't know how she didn't see it before. It had been right in front of her face for months. Charlie had become her favorite person, and she never got tired of being with her. She never pretended to be anyone else with Charlie, and she also knew that every piece of her, including the messy parts, were accepted without question. This revelation was both exhilarating and a little sad. Lily hadn't shared anything about her relationship with Charlie with anyone, not even Jenny. Just a few days ago, she denied that she had feelings for Charlie, and that thought made her feel unworthy of Charlie.

She stared down at the face of the most beautiful girl she knew, inside and out, and vowed that she was going to make some changes, big changes because she didn't want to continue to deny this. This was real. Things inside her started to rearrange as she realized how right this felt. She was terrified, but she knew. She was irrevocably in love with Charlotte Ramos. She looked down at Charlie's sleeping form and smiled to herself before snuggling back into position. "Te amo, chica bonita," Lily murmured before falling back to sleep.

Lily and Charlie woke up around 11, and walked into the living room. Noah and Simone were cuddled up on the couch watching a movie. "Fucking finally," Simone yelled. "Now we can go to Waffle House!"

Charlie looked at Lily and grinned, "You hungry?"

Simone walked up and put her arm around Lily, "Of course she's hungry! Noah wouldn't let me wake you guys up, so I have been waiting foreveeeeer!"

Noah signed, "Of course I didn't let you wake them up. What if they were canoodling?" He kissed her cheek, "and you've only been up fifteen minutes, babe." 

Lily coughed through a laugh, "we were not canoodling." Simone and Noah both shared a look that said they didn't believe her. 

During breakfast, they talked like old friends. It made sense in a way because Simone, Noah, and Charlie were old friends, but they acted like Lily had always been part of them. Everything flowed, and although Charlie checked in, Lily's anxiety was nowhere to be found. She just continued to smile at Charlie's hand on her thigh and her revelation from this morning.