Tragically Mine

Chapter 7: Gone but never forgotten

They say that the dead are never forgotten, and they say that they go to live on the most peaceful lives in heaven. Without any burden on their shoulders. Her death was to soon, she was too young. She was meant to live forever. I remember when Adriana and were little we would always dream about being a princess and ruling over Australia, Princess Adriana Rose Field. And Princess Lynsey Cordelia Field, we were the finest Princesses of them all. I gaze around the at all the people with their heads down to pay respects and honour her life. Everyone dressed in a sad black the same shade too, I know that if Adriana was to plan her funeral everyone would be wearing pink and having cocktails. Her death was unexpected and very sudden, so she didn't plan anything. Adriana and I had a very special bond, we talked in ways no other sibling would have. I was always there when she needed me, but now I have no one to turn to. Flynn is still mad at me, and I never want to see Ryder ever again. Ever again. Flynn hasn't talked to me in over a week I had to use what little money I had left to pay for a hotel. He blames me for something I didn't even do, it wasn't my fault, I didn't even kiss him. Yet I am always the bad guy. I will always. Get the blame. The air is crisp and it's hard to breath. They lower Adriana casket into the ground, I sight that I wish I would never have to see. Piling the dirt on top of her scoop after scoop watching but can't help felling regret and guilt. I piece of me died that day. A piece that I will never get back. It was my turn to speak, to leave this funeral on a positive note. I tremble, my legs shaking as I walk up to the podium. I look out at people I don't even know; I see mum in the crowd standing next to her nurse, and she looks at me a confused yet looks at me soft smile. Breath. My lip quivering. "I want to Thankyou all for being her today, for honouring the life of my little sister. Thank you to all her friends who took care of her and looked after her at work and and during her last year of school. Her death is not meant to be sad, and I am sure she is laughing at all of us from heaven right now." I hear a few soft chuckles come from the crowd, "She would want us all to be happy and leaving with smiles on our faces, she never wanted her death to be felt guilt and sadness. So please. For the sake of Adriana may we hold up heads up high. For Adriana." I sniffle looking at all the others wiping their tears and blowing into their small handkerchiefs. It warms my heart to see that so many people cared for her, and so many people will continue to cherish her like myself.  I look around as everyone raises their head up, I notice a familiar face. At the back of the crowd there was a man in a full black suit, I watch him as he brings his head up. No way. It's Flynn. What is he doing here? I didn't even invite him. He notices that I am looking at him and he locks eye contact before pulling away and walking away with the rest of the crowd. No where to be seen. What the fuck just happened? Flynn was at my sister's funeral. He decides after not talking to me for a week he just wants to suddenly waltz back into my life. I am running out money I can't afford to go back to the states at the moment as I can't get a loan in Australia. I put most of my money towards the funeral. So many emotions are running through me at the moment like a train station, one emotion after the other. As everyone walked away I sat by my sisters grave, hugging my sisters grave looking for comfort. It was almost like hers spirit was here watching me. At least she is no longer suffering she is with dad now, up in the stars. I lean against Adriana's grave smiling as I look up at the stars. I look around me and I find a bottle of red wine some how still half full. Why was the bottle there I'm not sure. Without hesitation I start drinking it after each sip looking up. Before I knew it the world around me was nothing my eyes became heavy to keep open. I couldn't control it, so I let my eyelids drop.

My eye open slowly I looks round, is it already morning? I blink again and I am once surrounded with the colourful hues again.

No.no.no

I do not want to be here. I'm scared.

I don't know what this is this is now the third time this has happened, every time getting weirder and scarier. I look for a way out, I blink and there is a door in front o me. The door is very familiar, but I can't put a word to it. It's hits me like a wave, this is Adriana's door from when we were kids. I twist the golden doorknob and peer from behind the door. It was Adriana and dad sitting on her bed. They Both turn to me in a synchronised manner.