For you | Clarisse La Rue

Things are going from bad to worse

When I opened the apartment door on the top floor, all I did was leave my backpack at the entrance, took a shower and changed into something more comfortable. Then I decided to go up to the roof to get some air. My mom won't be home for a couple of hours and I needed to think.

When I opened the roof door it was like all my problems were blown away by the wind, but only for a moment.

I made a small pillow out of my jacket and lay on the floor looking at the sky. I'm nervous about having to face my mother.

I really want to be like her when I grow up. She is strong, kind, intelligent and loved wherever she goes. And I? Her only daughter? I feel like I was losing my mind more and more.

I know my mother loves me and I love her too. But I also know that I'm the worst part of her life. A reminder of a past lover that went away, a troubled kid. A special kid, as adults says, that got thrown out of school for the 5th time in a row.

I wonder if she was going to consider the idea of ​​homeschool again. Although I don't think that any teacher would accept me. I did 1st grade at home, and I made my teachers cry.

I don't know how much time I spent daydreaming until a hear the door open. I got up from the surprise, and I looked back to see my mom.

She was still wearing her black suit with her blonde hair pushed back held by a brooch. She looked very tired.

My mom works as a criminal lawyer. She's worked for really bad people, but it's what she had to do to bring food to the table.

- Hi baby - she gave me a tired smile followed by a hug.

- Mom, Percy didn't push the girl and I couldn't just stand there and watch. I'm sorry, I was so close to make things right this year but--

- It's okay, I know. I'm so glad you are okay. - My heart felt tight in my chest. She wore a sad, almost nostalgic look, but her smile had not faded.

- Come, let's sit. - She comanded as she guided me to the ground.

- Sally texted me what happened. She said that Percy saw something. - she told me. She looked at me, hoping that I would explain more.

I know what I saw, what we did to defend ourselves. But I wasn't going to tell her. I didn't wanted to disappoint her any more that I already had. She couldn't know that I had gone completely mad.

- Yeah, we fell down the stairs. We didn't get hurt, but he had that strange dream. - I looked into her eyes when I spoke.

Then, she made a thoughtful face and turned forward.

- How were things on Yancy? - she asked.

- Better. We had an awesome Latin professor, Mr Brunner. He puts a lot of passion and emotion to his classes, you know? It helps with my attention deficit. Really learnt a lot about ancient Greece. I mean it's not helpfull, but still. And Percy and me even made a friend. -

I stopped for a moment. I understand why Grover did what he did. He wasn't the best under pressure, and that's totally fine. But he didn't even tried to say sorry or even talk to us after. It still hurted.

- It was a nice year. - I ended.

- That's nice to hear, my dear. - She finally turned to see me and I smiled at her.