Dad-Devil

5

"So, we've reviewed your case," Foggy said. Wade sat in a chair, looking at the two lawyers. It had seemed that Matt had grown a sudden distaste for him over the past few meetings, almost as if he knew Wade liked his partner. Romantic or not.

"You're walking a very thin line with the Fifth Amendment of self-incrimination. Let alone walking into a courthouse," Matt said. Foggy nodded after him.

"Like how thin? Am I going to get arrested?" Wade asked. Matt pulled a sheet of paper with horrendous scribbles and braille written on it.

"Appearing in a government space such as a courthouse can possibly get you in trouble for your crimes," Foggy said, trying to word it as delicately as possible.

"Pfft, what crimes? I only do good," Wade said. He knew he was wrong, but if it could convince lawyers, he could convince a jury.

"Mass murder, first and second degree murder, attempted murder, manslaughter, contact killing, assult, attenpted assult, abuse, drug possession, stalking, vigilantism, destruction of public property, destruction of private property, gambling, weapon dealing, unauthorized weapons, kidnapping, conspiracy, participation in organized crime, smuggling, and 78 unpaid parking tickets," Matt listed off as he ran his fingers over the paper. 

"Okay, so that's a few crimes, no one's perfect," Wade said, laughing awkwardly.

"We believe it is better you just sign off that we arrive on your behalf to small claims court, and we fight your case there. You'll get paid and run free," Matt said. Foggy had a pen and a contract looking piece of paper.

"So, I don't show up to court, just wait for you guys to win my money?" Wade asked. Foggy looked at Matt, who stared blankly over Wade's shoulder.

"Essentially, but meetings will be necessary," Matt said, putting on a large smile. Wade signed the paper and slid it it to Foggy. He stood up, shaking each lawyer's hand before leaving.

Spiderman and Deadpool were currently trekking across rooftops, chatting about their days. Daredevil had yet to show that night, so Peter was trying to get rid of Wade before checking on Matt. When the attempts became fruitless, Peter headed towards the apartment anyway. The windows were all shut and locked, though the light from the billboard illuminated the apartment enough to show empty Chinese food boxes on the coffee table.

"Oh? Who lives here? Not a very rich person. Is it a criminal we are about to bust? Drug lord? Some sex offender who's on parole but did a crime anyway? So many choices," Wade said, watching Spiderman. When Spiderman failed to open the window, Wade popped the next one with his pocket knife.

"No, don't go in," Spiderman whispered. Alas, it was too late as Wade was already stepping into the apartment. Peter closed his eyes and stepped in as well. There was rustling behind the sliding door, leaving Peter and Wade staring at it.

"We need to leave before something bad happens," Peter whispered. Wad was still creeping towards the door, hand on his katanas. The door opened, Matt stood on the other side with no shirt and a baseball bat. He swung at Wade, hitting his face.

"What did I say?" Peter muttered as he hurried over. He didn't make it in time for the second swing, aimed at Wade's stomach. Matt turned to him, raising the bat.

"Woah, woah, woah, it's me! It's me!" Peter said. Matt lowered the bat and tilted his head slightly.

"What are you doing here? Who the hell did I just hit?" Matt asked.

"Wade Wilson. Also known as Deadpool, your client," Wade groaned out. Matt ignored him, focused on Peter.

"I was worried, okay? I wanted to make sure you're fine," Peter said, itching the back of his neck.

"I think my nose is broken," Wade compained.

"More than fine, now get out, I need to sleep," Matt said. Peter grabbed at Wade, dragging him out and leaving through the window.

"That's my lawyer, I could've told you he was fine. How do you know him anyway? Is he your brother? Wait, but he's blind and you're not, unless it was some tragic accident that others see as heroic," Wade said.

"He's not my brother, just a friend," Peter said.

"A friend? Wow, okay, now I don't think you are that old, but okay," Wade said. He diverted to a new path. Peter shook his head and followed the sounds of screams and police sirens.