Blue Eyes and Midnight Skies | A Fan-fiction Novel

Chapter 5

"We should...go to sleep. It's already late," he said, and I could see that his eyes were tired now, like he could use some rest. And I could too, after what happened today. "You can sleep on the bed..." he offered nodding toward his room. Without another word, he took the blankets I saw earlier on the floor, and spread them out in front of him.

I wondered why he didn't sleep on the couch, but I decided not to question him and to be grateful for his hospitality, even though I felt a bit guilty for letting him sleep on the floor. "You sure? I can sleep on the-" but he didn't let me finish as he said: "Good night" and with that, he laid down, pulling his blanket up.

I looked at him for a second before turning around and going to bed. As I sunk into the mattress, my face buried in the pillow and the blanket wrapped around me, a pleasant scent surrounded me and I could make it out as laundry detergent. It was in a way comforting and I slowly drifted off to sleep.

I woke up a couple of hours later and it was still night as I shifted in bed to change my position facing the doorframe now. While I repositioned myself, I opened my eyes just a bit, before closing them again when all of a sudden I noticed, that something was different.

My gaze went to the living room, to the spot he was sleeping in, only this time I couldn't see the blurry silhouette of him. Sitting up, I rested my upper body on my arm and I leaned forward to grab my glasses, to ensure, that my mind wasn't playing any tricks on me.

The blankets were there, spread out on the floor but Bucky was nowhere to be found. In my still tired state, I decided to walk into the living room as I looked around, finding nothing but silence and the quiet sound of the wind coming from one of the windows. When my eyes looked at it I noticed, that it was open just a tiny bit. I moved closer to investigate and spotted a fire escape and it seemed like someone was sitting on it.

For a second my breath caught in my throat but I quickly realised, that it was him and I opened the window, stepping out to join him.

Even though I was sure he heard me open the window, he didn't turn around as he just kept looking at the city in front of him. But when I sat down next to him, I could see him glance at me briefly before his gaze turned away.

"Couldn't sleep?" I broke the silence as my eyes instinctively looked at him. "Yeah," he answered mumbling as he leaned back moving just a tiny bit to the side. I nodded as I looked over to him seemingly waiting for him to say something. My eyes fell on his left arm and I noticed that the metal hand was in fact a whole metal arm starting from his shoulder.

"Was it painful?" I asked out of nowhere already knowing the answer but something made me ask, as a sudden courage took over me. His eyes looked my way and he seemed a bit surprised about the question.
I thought he would stay silent or tell off but he just answered: "I... don't remember." A brief pause. "Worst things have happened to me," he said without any further explanation and his gaze turned away from me. In that short moment, I saw a hint of pain and sadness in his expression but he was quick to hide it underneath his usual cold expression.

This brief answer made me drop the topic and I turned my head toward the city in front of us. "It's a bit strange you know," I started after a few minutes of silence and Bucky's head turned my way as he seemed to wait for me to continue. "All this chaos... I've been stalked, my apartment got trashed and now I'm hiding from a terrorist group, that is probably searching for me right now. But somehow, right now, I feel oddly calm...." I looked at the street in front of me watching the cars drive by, their lights reflecting in the puddles the rain had left behind. "Shouldn't I be scared right now?" My eyes searched for his as I waited for an answer.

I watched him think about it for a second before he replied: "It's not strange if it's how you feel." he shrugged his eyes wandering off into the distance. "Sometimes I just wish I didn't." Bucky's eyes glanced at me like he wasn't sure what I meant. "To feel I mean. I wish I didn't feel this much." But my explanation didn't change the look he was giving me and I sighed deciding to continue forming my thoughts into words.