THE ENTERNAL XTREMELY INFERIOR TEAROOMS

Chapter 3

                    
Courtroom up there. dedicated to shjsieieie3. Thank you please. ❤️

(This also took me about a very long long time, and I shall send it off by printing it and mailing it to trump himself to beta read it. -siox 💜)

(Surviving off of the Magnus archives, tally hall, and the percy jackson books rn)

[I have no idea how court works, so bear with me.]

enjoy 😍 😍
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They entered the gates after a while, McKenzie suspected that something was definitely going on with Crumpet and his weird walkie-talkie looking thing.

The large double doors of the courthouse opened, showing a dark room with about four windows in total, two on each side. As he looked around the room, Crumpet nudged him with its elbow, which made McKenzie look up. "Hey, we better hurry up and take our seats, they're coming right now.

They took a seat at the front, which looked up at the judge.
"Isn't this the jury's seat? And where's the judge?" McKenzie asked Crumpet inquisitively.

"Shush, they're coming." Crumpet said, looking down at him.

"Where-?" He asked, until the judge burst through the doors, a judge-sized hole in the wall, followed by a horde of people in fancy clothes.

"ORDER IN THE SUPREME COURT OF DONKEY!" The judge said, panting, his grey wig wet from the sweat. (that rhymes, heh..) He then proceeded to sit down at the judges podium. (idk  what it's called, sorry. Never been to court or seen a court scene.) The jury then sat down. "If everyone here?" He asked, looking at the woman in front of him. "No, your honor, a man by the name of Mr Xavier Ali is missing."

"Oh well, he'll be here later, if he doesn't come here, we'll have to reschedule the court case-" he said calmly, before getting interrupted by a bright pink Cadillac driving through the doors. "Not the doors again, those things cost a few grand these days." The judge mumbled.

The Cadillac was perfectly intact, well physically it was. (Mentally, no. That car has been through a lot. Might need therapy. Sad times.) Unlike the doors, which were a wreck of wood, gold and uranium. (uranusium. Also why was there uranium. Beats me I suppose.) A figure walked out of the Cadillac, dressed in a designer temu suit, which was made by one three year old, over the course of one hour.

He had his jet-black hair slicked back by 10-year-old-preppy-sephora-makeup-hair gel stuff.

"Hello, here I may return. Hello, McKenzie." He said, twirling his slight mustache.

"Oh hey it's him, he's here, now, we shall start." The judge said.

"COURT IN SESSION, PLEASE DO NOT INTERRUPT OR RECORD, ANY RECORDING MAY BE PROHIBITED. AND IF YOU DO RECORD, THAT'S A MINIMUM OF 309 YEARS IN JAIL FOR YA.' He said, banging his gavel.

"ASWELL AS THAT, IF YOU SPEAK, YOU'LL BE HEREBY SENTENCED TO 438 MINUTES IN THE 'ASYLUM'. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. PLEASE FO NOT SPEAK AGAINST THE RULES OF JUSTICE UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO BANG MY GAVEL, WHICH MAKES A VERY LOUD NOISE THAT IS ANNOYING." The judge said, continuing the sentences said before.

"That's an oddly specific number.. isn't it?..heh." Crumpet whispered to McKenzie.

McKenzie sighed.

He knew he probably wouldn't make this out alive, or even intact.

.+🔪✨🔪✨🔪✨🔪✨🔪✨🔪✨🔪+.

"Right, so the accused may tell the story of their side, and then plead guilty or not guilty." The judge said.

"Y-your honor, I plead not guilty, as I didn't kill him, uhm yeah-" McKenzie said nervously.

"AIGHT, NOW, SIR MEESTA ALI, YOU MAY SPEAK." The judge said, clearly not wanting to waste anymore time.

"Ahem, your honour, this man here has been meddling with the laws of our world,  killing people without the rules or prophecy of our Lord Donkey. Which is a crime that is worth noting, as murder is alright if you have gotten a prophecy from Donkey. Which this man did not. And hereby say that Mr. M here, has not been given a prophecy from Donkey, which means that he is guilty." The Indian man said, then sitting down straight after giving his reasons.

"Alright, so Mr. Ali here has given his speech, so now Mr. McKenzie Laurence will give his statement." The judge said.

"So, erm, I didn't mean to kill him, he was threatening me and my friend you see, so-" McKenzie started to say, before he got interrupted.

To be continued....
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(dear, shjsieieie3 sorry. i forgive you. 💜 not sure what i am forgiving you for, not sure if you're seeing this, but i guess the ao3 author curse is real. it feels weird. like im grieving a loss of someone, except I'm the one that's dead, and I can just really imagine every scenario in other universes where I never did allat. i don't want to kill myself. i don't want to kill anyone. I want to die, knowing that id been forgiven, and everyone has forgotten about me. i want people to forget me. i don't want anyone to grieve for the loss of me. I'm sorry. i apologize. this is short, and choppy, and im doing this at one am, i hope you forgive me. i hope you forget me. i hope you wash all memory of me out of your mind. i know that if you see this, you'll share it with him. you know who. you said you wouldn't mind. what was it that caused you to realize all of that? did you really even like me as a friend? i have many questions unanswered, it would be nice to rest, knowing all of that. my mother says to ignore people, im not sure i believe that. you'll probably not even see this. this sucks. its my fucking apology to you. i was a horrible friend, a horrible person too . but I'm sorry I can't control it. im sorry I can't control being weird. i wish we had more time together.
sighs. i really just typed out the word sighs. this feels like those Aliza grace poems. shjsieieie3 please. just listen. this is probably emotionally controlling and you're gonna laugh at this with your friends.  but anyways, if anyone else sees this, no. you didn't. anyways, bye now. :3 memento mori! don't have kids!) 
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NEVER!...

(s.hjsieieie3 you probably blocked me. but yknow. i love you. (platonically. as a frenemy) 💜))

(1088 words plus the shitty apology)