THE BAD GUYS IN: ALADDIN

Arabian night

Fade from black. A tendril of purple mist in front of a wall of red flames. The mist forms into golden letters: "Aladdin". The letters shimmer, then blow away. In a desert, a short peddler rides a camel, singing through the silent night as the opening credits roll

♪ Oh I come from a land, from a faraway place ♪

♪ Where the caravan camels roam ♪

♪ Where it's flat and immense, and the heat is intense ♪

♪ Where they cut off your ear, if they don't like your face ♪)

♪ It's barbaric, but hey, it's home! ♪

♪ When the wind's from the east, and the sun's from the west, and the sand in the glass is right ♪

♪ Come on down, stop on by, hop a carpet and fly, to another Arabian night! ♪

Over the dunes desert, we're shown the city of Agrabah. The palace absolutely dominates the view, while the peddler sings on, approaching the border of the city.

♪ Arabian nights, like Arabian days ♪

♪ More often than not, are hotter than hot ♪

♪ In a lot of good ways! ♪

The camera pans through a city street, where a firebreather is performing his act. He breathes out flames, which transition us back to the peddler.

♪ Arabian nights, 'neath Arabian moons ♪

♪ A fool off his guard, could fall and fall hard ♪

♪ Out there on the dunes ♪

The tired camel, panting and shaking on all of its four legs, collapses and his driver nimbly slides off its back. He clutches his hands as he addresses the viewer.

"Ah, salaam, and good evening to you, worthy friend. Please, please, come closer"

The camera zooms in and presses itself against the peddler's face.

"Ugh... Too close. A little too close"

Thankfully, for all parties concerned, the camera is pulled back a bit.

"Ah, there. Welcome to Agrabah... City of mystery... Of enchantment..."

He opens the pouch on the camel's back, which suddenly transforms into a fully decked out bazaar stall.

"And the finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan, on sale today. Come on down. Heh, heh"

He pulls a rather conspicuous looking vase from the top of the stall.

"Look at this. Yes. Combination hookah and coffeemaker" pressing it against a potato, "Also makes julienne fries. Will not break" taps it on table, "Will not..."

Boing! The top end pops off.

"It broke. Ohh! Look at this" pulls out a box, "I have never seen one of these intact before. This is the famous Dead Sea Tupperware. Listen..." He pries it open and, for effect, blows a raspberry's

"Ah, still good."

It's clear now: we're not interested. The camera starts to pan away from the peddler, who hurriedly tries to catch up with us.

"Wait, don't go! I can see that you're only interested in the exceptionally rare. I think, then, you would be most rewarded to consider... this"

The peddler pulls the now iconic magic lamp out from his sleeve, gently holding it in his hands.

"Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts"

Again, the camera pans away. The peddler doesn't give up though, once more struggling to stay into view of his potential buyer(s)