Silhouette birds

*Mums Pov*

I wake up without hearing the familiar banging and crashing of Kali making us breakfast. She texted me saying she'll be at Bliss' house and she'll be home by morning.
She must've had a change of plans, or she might've spent the night with Hao.
I laugh at my own thoughts, which is kinda sad but I just start making pancakes for Variel and Quimel.
It's soo quiet.
I walk up to my phone to play the familiar 80's Playlist, I see a message from Kali but ignore it knowing that it will be some lame excuse and, I'm in the the zone right now.
"Variel, Quimel breakfast is ready!", I shout up stairs in a sing-song voice.
I hear a miniature herd of elephants running down the stairs and I see my 7 year old daughter sprinting down the stairs with my 39 year old husband.
I laugh at the sight and start to dish up the slightly chared pancakes, "It's the new trend", I told my family.

When we were in the middle of eating our breakfast, I heard a sudden knock on the door.
I opened up the black timber floor, to reveal a police man in a dark blue uniform holding out a plain white envelope.
"For you Mrs Brienziel", He said in a deep American accent.
"Thank you" I said softly.
Don't posties usually deliver the mail, not police men.
I ripped open the white paper to reveal a dirty peice of newsprint which had neat but, messy writing scrawled across it.
It read this.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamonds glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle Autumn rain.
When you awake in the mornings hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush,
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.
xx Kali.
I was sick of saying sorry so I'm going to say goodbye.
Don't forget that I love you. I'll see you soon. xoxoxo

The police waited until I finished reading before started.
"She threw herself over the Smiths street bridge after finding out that Hao died." He said emotionless.
Does he not realize that my life is falling apart.
Sometimes it's easier to laugh, then cry.
"She always did have a knick for poetry." I blubbered out between sobs. That's death changing our language from 'is' to 'was', because of course death ruins everything.
"Tell my family" I said before sprinting upstairs to finally complete my breakdown.

The worst part is you knew things were bad, when wasn't even that good at hiding it.
The circles under her eyes got darker.
The sound of her voice got softer.
The size of her waist got smaller.
And her smile just disappeared.
She was drowning, but nobody saw her struggle.
After all its the prettiest smiles that hide the deepest secrets,
Its the prettiest eyes that have cried the most tears,
And its the kindest hearts that hide the most pain.
She sacraficed herself for other people's problems, while she was having a war against herself.

She was drowning, but nobody saw her struggle.

*time skip to a month later*

Our family are slowly pulling ourselves back together again, none of us took it well, but it had led us to start up a support group for families that are going through what we had.
But oh we miss her.
I want to share her story, our story.

If Kali were here today, I will get her to,
Place her hand over her heart, and I will say,
You feel that?, that's purpose you're alive for a reason,
Don't forget,
You are beautiful,
You are strong,
Stay strong,
It gets better,
I promise

This is for the ones
Who cried themselves to sleep
Who cut
Who pucked
Who starved themselves
Who felt ugly
Who felt alone
And for the ones that died
|♡