The months without Hoseok after they've been intimate are the hardest he's had to weather yet. He misses the scent of his skin, the warmth of his body, the rawness of his gaze, the heavy slope of his muscle.
He sleeps fitfully without him, if at all, and he tracks the days gone by with the falling of the leaves. When Hoseok finally returns, all he wants is to pull the boy into his arms but he's halfway out the door as it is. Gone after yoongi for the last of his secrets and he wants to ignore it, all of it, in favor of Hoseok but Hoseok's smiling softly at him and saying, "Go."He returns to find Hoseok still fully clothed on their bed and fast asleep on top of the covers. Taehyung curls a hand under his cheek and the dark smudge of eyelashes blink open. Hoseok's mouth curves into a crescent and he winds his hands around Taehyung's neck, pulling him in, spreading his legs, welcoming him home with everything he has to offer.
He can't stay.
Much as he would like to lie next to Hoseok and watch the rise and fall of his chest as he snuffles into sleep, he still has work to do. He's fixing the length of his sleeve as he closes the door to his rooms when he finds yoongi waiting for him with pursed lips.His eyes flick to the shut door and he says curiously, "He seemed... worried for you, My Lord."
Taehyung's gaze joins his while he tries to pretend he doesn't flush at the idea that Hoseok might reciprocate even an ounce of what he has burning inside him like an inferno. It will be impossible when he leaves again, the fields will brown and the branches will go naked and the flowers will wilt and there will be nothing left alive until he breezes back in with the spring.
His eyes track Hoseok as he walks into the room and his skin heats up entirely against his will. It's the end of his fourth season - as he calls them – without him and it has been just as long and cold as those that preceded it. He wishes he knew the moment Hoseok returned so he might never be caught in a room full of followers when he first lays eyes on him after months of waiting.
He drowns his anticipation and eagerness in the pain of digging his nails into his palm and listens intently to the report being given. The drone of the voice is low and buzzes almost pleasantly on the tide of his subconscious mind. He's not looking at Hoseok but, even so, he is hyperaware of his presence.
He's grown even more since he's been gone and Taehyung hates that he's missed more of what's become vital parts of him. Four months seems so insignificant but after each absence he comes back standing up a little straighter, a little more aware of himself, a little more beautiful.
Hoseok flourishes when he's away and if he weren't such a monster he might never make him return. His nails dig in deeper at the thought. He keeps his gaze trained away from Hoseok for the rest of the meeting.
His red eyes don't waver from yoongi's mouth until he's finally opening his own to command, "Dismissed."
Hoseok's steps are long and graceful as they always are after he comes back from his mother, as though she's done nothing for four months but harp on his posture and upbringing. Secretly he loves the air of confidence and sex Hoseok returns with. He wonders if he isn't simply trying with all he has in him to find the good in Hoseok's absence.
There is none.
Hoseok's legs move over him, slip under the arms of his seat until their thighs are resting against one another's and Hoseok is straddling his lap as though this is their standard. He tries to behave as if it is. Hoseok has never been so affectionate, even detached as it still is. His eyes are a splintered, frosted brown and his gaze is clinical."luna says." He licks his lips. He knows Hoseok feels what the action does to him. Hoseok settles himself more firmly rather than arching back as he normally would. Taehyung tentatively brings his hands up to cup Hoseok's hips. Though he knows he has him, has him in archaic ways, in forever ways, he is still cautious in every moment, as though the slightest misstep might cause Hoseok to slip from his fingers.
