As much hate Is to love

Chapter 1 - Hope?

 

                                    Celinè

"Dad! Please, just stop!"

This is me, yelling at my dad to stop drinking. He'd been drinking for as long I can remember. He held the whiskey bottle tight in his hand.. glaring at me with hatred. His eyes droopy and he can barely keep them open them..

"D-don't tell me W—what— to do!"

He slumbers, he can't even talk normally under the cause of the alcohol influence.

The reasons why I want him to quit his drinking addiction It's because were are going bankrupt, we can barley pay up the house bills.. and alcohol is expensive nowadays..

"Dad! It's not worth it! Just put the bottle down.. please..."

Tears are rolling down my cheeks like a river.. my face soaked and my eyes desperate.

My hands are shaking and I'm trembling.. I curl my toes in my shoes as glare at him...

"please..."

I barely whisper. Did I actually.. have hope.. hope that he'd put down the bottle.. fuck I'm stupid.

"This sip I'm going to drink is so much more important than you, Celiné.."

There he is.. taking the last gulp of his damn whisky.

I felt hopeless.. shattered.. His words were like a knife to the heart. My face goes blank and my lips are slightly parted.. my bottom lip Is trembling. My eyes are watery and It's almost blurry... the tears burn as I let them dry... I just gave up.. I've tried so much, to help him.. I've had hope.. saying to myself..

"He'll change" or "It's just a little drinking" "It will work this time" But It never works! I've been stupid.. naive.. stubborn.. that I really thought he would change?

My hands fall to my sides and I wipe my tears... He sets down the bottle on the table with his other pile of alcohol and ale. He just stares at me with no regret.. like he did the right thing..

"Don't just stand there looking innocent, it's been a week since you spread your legs for Hugo. Worthless bitch."

"DON'T YOU BRING THAT UP! THAT WAS SEVEN YEARS AGO. AND THAT MAN WHORE RAPED ME AND—"

And like the wind his fist blow my face. Making me fall to my ass.. tears sting my eyes as my hair blocks the most of my face.

"You obliged him like the whore you are.. don't even deny it.. he didn't make you bleed but you enjoyed every second of it.. because your a whore.. nothing but one.. your pathetic.."

Hiccuping, I lie there. Cupping my red check he just slapped as my lip trembles. I make my way to my room and close the door shut.

Tears well up in my eyes, I tip toe to bed and slump down. resting my head on my pillow, letting my tears flow down my cheeks. I sob.. right then and there, I'm now wheezing and sniffling.. I'm tired.. so tired.

But every time I feel like giving up and wanting to end it.. I think of the only person that actually matters in this shitty, cruel, cold hearted place called earth.. my mother. I miss her.. so much. Her scent, her smile that never fails to make the room fill up with joy and laughter.

Gosh.. I miss her so, so so much. Words can't describe how much I miss her. I'm drowning in my thoughts as I lay in bed, thinking about mom. My eyes lids are heavy.. I'm blinking slowly as my breathing is softer and calmer.. I close my eyes.. slowly.. calmly drifting to sleep...