𝐀𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏 - 𝐇𝐨𝐩𝐞?

"Dad! Please, just stop!"

This is me, yelling at my dad to stop drinking. He'd been drinking for as long I can remember. Ever since I found my mom hanging from a fucking rope when I was seven.

He held the whiskey bottle tight in his hand.. glaring at me with hatred. His eyes droopy and he can barely keep them open them.

"D-don't tell me W—what— to do!"

My excuse of a father slumbers, he can't even talk normally under the cause of the alcohol influence.

The reasons why I want him to quit his drinking addiction Is because we're going bankrupt, we can barley pay up the house bills.. and alcohol is expensive nowadays.

I mean yeah, life was good before he left the mafia. Because he was so depressed after his wife committed suicide. Instead of seeking help he relied on spirits and liquor.

"Just put the fucking bottle down. That's the least you can do after spending all the money we have!"

Unwanted tears are rolling down my cheeks like a river as my voice echoed in the room with anguish. My face soaked and my eyes desperate.

My hands are shaking and I'm trembling. I curl my toes in my shoes as glare at him...

"Please..." I barely whisper as my onyx eyes stare at him wide.

Did I actually have hope? Hope that he'd put down the bottle or at least try to understand what the fuck he's doing?

Fuck I'm stupid.

"This sip I'm going to drink is so much more important than you, Celiné.."

There he is.. taking the last gulp of his damn whisky.

I felt hopeless.. shattered. His words were like a knife to the heart. My face goes blank and my lips are slightly parted. My bottom lip Is quivering. My eyes are watery and It's almost blurry. The tears burn as I let them dry.. I just gave up. I've tried so much, to help him.. I've had hope.. saying to myself..

'He'll change' or 'It's just a little drinking' 'It will work this time' But It never works! I've been stupid.. naive.. stubborn.. that I really thought he would change?

My hands fall to my sides and I wipe my tears... He sets down the bottle on the table with his other pile of alcohol and ale. As he just stares at me with no remorse or regret. Like he did the right thing..

"Don't just stand there looking innocent, your still the whore who spread her legs for Hugo. Worthless bitch."

As his words reached my ears my anger spiked as my mouth spoke before I court think.

"DONT YOU BRING THAT UP. I WAS A CHILD, AND YOUR DRUNK! HE FUCKING RAPED ME—"

And like the wind his fist blewmy face. Making me fall to my ass.. tears sting my eyes as my hair blocks the most of my face.

"You obliged him like the whore you are.. don't even deny it. He didn't make you bleed yet you enjoyed every second of it. Because your a whore.. nothing but one. You're pathetic.."

Hiccuping, I lie there. Cupping my red check he just slapped as my lip trembles. I make my way to my room and close the door shut.

Tears well up in my eyes again, I tip toe to bed and slump down. Resting my head on my pillow, letting my tears flow down my cheeks. I sob.. right then and there, I'm now wheezing and sniffling.. I'm tired.. so tired.

But every time I feel like giving up and wanting to end it.. I think of the only person that actually matters in this shitty, cruel, cold hearted place called earth.. my mother. I miss her.. so much. Her scent, her smile that never fails to make the room fill up with joy and laughter.

Gosh.. I miss her so much. Words can't describe how much I miss her. I'm drowning in my thoughts as I lay in bed, thinking about mother. My eyes lids are heavy.. I'm blinking slowly as my breathing is softer and calmer. I close my eyes.. slowly.. calmly drifting to sleep...