Closed door | Eren x Mikasa

Part II

When I walked into the bedroom, Mikasa was sitting on the windowsill and looking in the window. She didn't react to my appearance. I moved across the room and sat down in front of her. My eyes were fixed on her face.

This time I'm not going to run away.

- You asked me today why I wanted you to come here with me - I spoke up, while wondering when she'll look at me. - The truth is that there was just as much, if not more chance, that I would have chosen a different version of the ending.

- I know - she said quietly. Her eyes were still focused on the view outside the window.

- I took it into consideration for many reasons - I continued undeterred by her behavior. - One of them was fear. I'm still not sure I have the right to such a life. I don't know if I deserve to spend it with you. By staying with me, you will lose 4 years that you could have...

- Eren! - she interrupted me, and her eyes finally met mine. - I don't think I'm losing anything. It is your presence in my life that gives it meaning.

My eyes widened. What was I expecting? Did I expect anything?

- I... am not perfect - I said as if I wanted to make her realize this obvious truth and make her leave me.

- So do I.

Yes... I know. There are no perfect people. Everyone has flaws. However, my own...

- Eren - she spoke up, interrupting my slow sequence of thoughts - I want to be with you despite this.

- What if you're blinded by the past? What if...

- If so, I would like to never regain my sight again.

I hesitated, analyzing her words extremely carefully. She used a double negation, which means...

- Does that mean you won't regret not being with someone who has more than just a few years left to live?

Did I have the right to ask the question this way?

- No, because I know I wouldn't experience with anyone what I would with you. How can you be sure that the person I would potentially be with would live to old age? How can you be sure that I would live long enough to see it? The only difference I can see is that in our case we know when the end will come.

- ...And that's enough for you? - despite her full of confident confession, I felt uncertainty.

I still hesitated, but was it necessary?

- Yes - once again, the confident sound of her voice reached my ears.

On the spur of the moment, I decided to make a move. I made a decision. The only proper one.

Or at least that's what it seemed to be at that particular moment, the one that was playing out right now.

I moved closer and, grasping her clenched hands, carefully spread out her fingers.

- I apologize for my earlier behavior. I left you alone after... - I hesitated, searching for obvious words to describe the moment when both of us...

I'm doing it again.

- It's okay. I understand why - she said and did something else.

She smiled, and I unconsciously moved even closer.

- Mikasa - I said quietly right at her lips.

- Yes? - she whispered. Her warm, sweet breath brushed my face.

A trace of the recent smile had already disappeared from her face. Extremely focused, she awaited my next words.

- I won't do it again.