As if in a trance,
...
That feels like it wes written entrance,...
Should probably write some poet on it lol.
As its head was tiller with pain, as it was a motion a quick reflection as if it was supposed to stung. But nothing came. How weird
No breakfast, nor drinks
Still no hunger nor thirst
No lunch nor drinks
Still the same nothing
No dinner one sip
Nothing..
--------------------
How are you?
How am I supposed to know that ..
How do you determine if you are sane, if you feel stuff I only feel confusion.
Why do people tend on hugs when it doesn't help
How can they talk for more than an hour without having any context, isn't it weird to them?
Why so much pain when it doesn't feel as it should. People describe pain as something not present and unbearable so they kill themselves. But the pain only helps me to bring myself to reality. Everyone's screams help me to understand where I stand. I am here. I am me. I can't change. I am not like her. I can't give up my everything to make her happy. Why do I keep wishing for the 8th years. Why now when it all rested it feels like everything got worse. I thought once I get it back I'll be happy. Am I really a monster? Am I classified in her eyes as human? She doesn't care. She said I have no right. I have no human rights. She said she won't hurt me since I am a lost case I am older, and will end up still dumb and naive once she hits me. That I can't be fixed. So why do I crave for her to hit me and at the same time dislike it. Why wish for 8 years when I could have ended the pain when I hold the knife to my throat. One swift movement there. A mess but dead. Dead is good. You can replace people, u can forget. But you never forgive them for being so useless...
This can't be fixed. I can't be fixed. Yet I try to imagine as if I would be normal, I avoided her because I don't want to be hit back to reality that I can't be normal. Because I was never normal.
I am not.
