golden: sokeefe oneshots

~~golden hour~~

~~keefe pov~~

trigger warning: brief suicidal thoughts

he missed her laugh, her smile, her blush, the way she hid behind her hair when she was embarrassed.

the crinkle between her eyebrows. the way she pulled at her long, beautiful eyelashes.

and her eyes...

he couldn't even think about her eyes.

or how she got so adorably annoyed when he teased her. her incredible obliviousness. he couldn't think about it.

but he did, because it was the only thing holding him together.

even if they were only memories. even if she probably hated him now. even if he never saw her again.

a tear slipped through his tightly shut eyes, and he wished she was there to gently brush it away. he was so stupid. why did he leave?

why did he start his letter with "to the mysterious miss f?" out of all the greetings, he chose that one. she probably thought he considered it a joke. she probably thought he was such an asshole. but that was okay. it was probably better if she hated him. so much better than if she was hurting, because if she was hurting, he didn't know what he would do.

of course, he was standing on the edge of a very tall building... but he couldn't do that. he could be important. he could end this. he had to end this. for her.

the brutal wind whipped his hair around his face. his hair. the same shade as hers. obviously, hers was much prettier. it glinted, glowed, in the sunlight. framed her gorgeous face perfectly.

his mind flashed to the first time he'd seen her, with the ugly rash on her wrist. she was so brave. so confident. he sent a silent plea into the universe: please don't let this break her. please let her know how much i love her. how much she means to me. god, he loved her so much.

and she might never know, he thought dully. she might never know how much i love her.

she was so perfect, so perfectly imperfect. she was strong, but she allowed herself to be weak sometimes. she opened up so much around him... part of him always wondered if she loved him. she knew him better than anybody. she made such an effort, cared about him more than anyone else. she never felt pity for him. just sorrow. she understood. heck, she lived it. how it must have been to hear every single thought people ever had about you...

he sighed, tilting his face up towards the dark sky, the swirling clouds. rain streamed down his face. he closed his eyes.

it would be better this way, he thought. it had to be. otherwise his departure would be in vain. no. it would never be useless- he was protecting her. he was made to be this way. dangerous. threatening. her nemesis. he couldn't hurt her anymore. he had let it go on far too long. his eyes fluttered open, his gaze focusing on the golden evening sun. it was the golden hour. against his will, he fixated on the memory of perfect, glowing, brown, honey-flecked eyes. the piercing brown eyes that would be burnt into his mind for all eternity.

a/n- hi everyone :) thanks for reading! i hoped you liked this chapter, maybe drop a vote?

word count: 561

-limbiumforsophie