HP/LV One Shot

Lord Voldemort Goes to the Cinema- IvoryRaven

Notes:
Prompt:

Voldemort wants to do research on what muggles fear for when he takes over the world, so he starts researching The Bad Guys in various forms of muggle media. This includes venturing into the local cinema under (not a very good) disguise.

Enter Harry potter, who has never been to the cinema before and really wants to see a movie.

Lord Voldemort, the Darkest Lord of all time, strode down the suburban muggle street, wand in his sleeve. He wore a dark green muggle suit with a green and silver tie (of course) and, as a disguise, a fake moustache.

Not that anyone would recognize him here, of course. It was a typical summer Tuesday, in Little Whinging, Surrey. All the houses looked the same: brick, with poo-coloured tops. Even his destination, the Little Whinging movie theatre, was a brick square.

He arrived at the theatre ten minutes before his film was supposed to start. He bought a ticket at the front desk, reveling in the obvious apprehension of the muggle there. That was why he was here: to find out what muggles feared so he could ensure their terror when he had taken over the world.

His ticket was for a film that had come out in 1988, directed by George Sluzier. Supposedly the original, the one he was seeing, was much better than the newer remake. It was a horror film, especially scary for muggles.

Lord Voldemort ordered a bucket of popcorn and a Coke. He chose a seat in the middle of the theatre. There weren’t many other people there - just a short teenager in the front, who was turning to look at the only other person seeing a thriller film on a Tuesday afternoon in summer.

“Voldemort!” shouted the person.

Lord Voldemort looked more closely at the person. Green eyes, black hair, lighting scar - by Merlin, it was Potter!

“Harry Potter,” he said.

“You’ve come to kill me before I’ve even seen a film?”

“You’ve never seen a film before?” asked Lord Voldemort in surprise.

Potter shook his head. “Never.”

“Well. You’d better watch this one, then. And I won’t be killing you today, there’s no audience.”

Potter laughed. “I think we are the audience.” He looked pointedly at the screen, which was now showing an advert for ketchup.

Lord Voldemort laughed back. “You know what I mean.” He decided to sacrifice his seat for the dubious pleasure of Potter’s company - well. It would be a pleasure for him to see Potter’s discomfort. He couldn’t imagine Potter finding his company pleasurable.

Potter looked at him in surprise. “What!” he squeaked.

Lord Voldemort shrugged. “Why not?” he asked.

Potter opened his mouth, and left it that way, looking quite ridiculous. “Really,” tutted Voldemort, reaching over and nudging Potter’s jaw closed, “the supposed Saviour of the Wizarding World making a face like that.”

Harry flushed, but before anything else could happen, the film started.

“Popcorn?” offered Voldemort.

“Thanks,” said Potter absentmindedly, reaching over and taking a handful.