too sweet || Carl Grimes

I

Rowan was stuck in the house, Otis was hunting for something bigger alone before he could come out and help with smaller animals. He was getting better with a gun, but not to the point he'd take down large prey like Otis could. So he did what he does everytime he needs to be outside; rides the horses.

They'd been cleaned, they weren't looking to go on a run right now, so he could help exercise the horses, mainly Nelly. She drifted to him more than the other horses, the favourtism on his side was clear to everyone, but Rowan just used the excuse he was going to help her become less nervous. It was obviously bullshit, they all knew it, but it was the happiest they saw him.

Riding also helped him, draining him more than the horse, clearly drifting off as he put Nelly back and wandered into the house. Patricia practically forced him to bed while he insisted he was awake, only going when reminded by Beth he might need to go for a run.

He had his own room, it was 'decorated' with scattered CDs, a record player he fixed himself, tapes, records and random plushes Maggie was sure he would love when she found them on runs. It was more personalised than his old room before the outbreak, hell, even Beth's room had more of his stuff. Beth was sure that they needed to have sleepovers, of course he did because it made her happy.

What he expected to wake up to was Otis or Maggie getting him up so he could join them, or Jimmy and Beth talking in the living room.
Not shouting, running and his door slamming open.

|~~~~~~|

Rowan was tasked with collecting the items for everyone and passing them down. He wasn't quite sure what was going on besides some kid needing surgery, and he didnt really want to be around whatever people were stressing over the kid.

Maybe it was hypocritical considering he was a kid taken in and helped by the Greenes, but he couldn't help any other way, all he would do is crowd the room more.

|~~~~~~|

"I can't believe how serene it is. How untouched... you're lucky."

"We weren't completely unscathed. We lost friends, neighbours. The epidemic took my wife, my stepson."

"My daughters were spared. I'm grateful to God for that. Found a son we'd been missing too. These people here, all we've got left is eachother."

|~~~~~~|

It was quiet.

It was loud down where everyone was rushing around, it would quiet down then get louder every now and then. A constant on and off.

Rowan couldn't help but think of everything that could've happened.

Shane was obviously alive, even if he was struggling he'd live just to spite Rowan. He could be anywhere at this point, he never understood his dad's mind back when life was normal, no way he'd be able to now.

Chances are he'd be bossing around people, looking after Carl, already replacing his memories from before with Carl in Rowan's spot in his mind. He certainly didn't miss any of that, not when the Greenes appreciate him as he is.

Shane Walsh could go fuck himself.

|~~~~~~|

It was a while before he went downstairs, just sitting in his room waiting for someone to shout for something, anything.

Apparently one of them went and got supplies from the high school for the kid, or maybe they were staying there? Rowan could only understand so much through the floors and walls.

He only knew it was over when Maggie called Rowan down, the kid mustn't have made it with how sad she looks.

I mean it's sad a kid died, and they used their own materials on him, but as far as he knew these were just strangers why would it affect her so much?

"Patricia, Rowan. Otis is gone."

Oh.

Patricia immediately broke into sobs, at points it bordered on screams, while all Rowan could do was keep his head down until Maggie pulled them both into a hug.

"Im so sorry. He was getting supplies for the kid, the kid's alive because of him."

"I think I'm gonna go out.. for sone fresh air please."

Rowan broke away from the hug, leaving Patricia to fall further into Maggie's embrace, who kept an eye on him as he left.

With the Greenes he seemed to get polite when he was sad, unnecessary pleas leaving his mouth like one sight of emotion, a step out of place and they'd kick him out.

It wasn't the kid's fault, if he was awake and told Otis not to go chances are the man still would've made the trip just out of guilt, but there was a bubbling bitter anger that if they had gotten hurt, or they'd gone somewhere else Otis would still be here.

Otis would still be taking him out hunting. Otis would still be teaching him how to shoot. Maybe it would've been Rowan that messed up. He'd heard them say it was a hunting accident. Maybe Rowan would be the one to blame, and he wouldve went to get the supplies, and Otis would be with his wife still.

Somehow it always lead back to him. Shane used to always say it whenever he did anything to annoy his dad. Any issue could be connected to him, if his dad did anything it was somehow, in some shape or form Rowan's fault.

But then he'd apologise the next day, a small sorry and carry on as usual, maybe some food Shane knew he liked too.

It was easy to know your son's favourite food when you always had to buy it as an apology.

Rowan was so deep in thoughts he missed the man sitting on the front porch steps,  knocking his knees into the back on the man's head, only becoming aware by the dull pain and numb feeling in his legs.

He reacted to that before he could apologise to whoever was in front of him. Without it sounding too mean, even though nobody could hear his thoughts, any small sentences, even a few words would somehow turn into a conversation, so he needed to deal with having given himself a dead leg.

'Shit this guy has a hard head.'

Before he could even shake off the tingling numb of his leg, a voice he never expected to hear was there, and he hadn't gone crazy yet so it was definitely real.

"Rowan..?"