Hurt

The Boy

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️: Blood mention/ detail, S/H, Depression, Suicide mention, Eating disorder, Anxiety/ Panic attacks, Abuse, THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING!!!

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Dennis POV:

I sigh as I look at the ceiling in my room, listening to mom and dad's fighting. Getting tired of listening to a fight where neither sides are right, I plug my headphones into my phone and start playing depressing ass music. After only one song I sniffle, not exactly crying but just sniffling. I push myself up and off my bed, walking over to my book bag and grabbing the one notebook that truly matters to me. The front is black and covered in little sad designs, you can tell the notebook is used often.

I take it into my connecting bathroom and lock the door after turning on the light. I sit on the closed toilet lid, opening the notebook and flipping to my favorite page, a small razor, about an inch and a half long glides down the page and sits where my shirt and the pages meet. I grab my razor and just look at it and bounce my knee for a second, looking around the bathroom, trying to silently talk myself out of it, but in the end I think, "Fuck it, shit heals anyways."

I roll up the sleeve to my black plaid over shirt, looking at fully healed scars and some others that are still in the process of healing, close to being done. I take the blade between my thumb and pointer and press the tip of it against my wrist, slowly pressing down and dragging the silver object that I call therapy across my arm. Blood prickles from the cut before beginning to drip down my wrist, rolling smoothly over my skin. I took my time between each mark to sit and watch the rolling red orbs, letting a few tears roll down my face and onto my wrist, swirling together with some of the blood. It burns so bad, but fuck, it feels like the best thing in the world. After about ten cuts I lay my head back, just looking up at the ceiling as the tears change the course of which they fall and instead fall from the far corners of my eyes.

I feel my phone vibrate and see it's at 15%. With much reluctance I put the blade back in the book and run cold water over my arm and over the cuts until they mostly stop bleeding. I pull my sleeve down carefully so it doesn't get stuck on my torn skin. I leave the bathroom and flop onto my stomach on my bed and grab my charger cord, plugging in my phone so that my music doesn't stop. I realize just how tired I'm getting and lay on my back, my phone laying beside me as the song "No Surprises" plays on repeat. I lace my fingers together and set my hands on my stomach, closing my eyes and slowly drifting off into an intoxicating sleep.

"Get the fuck up! You're gonna be late for school!" I jolt awake to my dad screaming at me as he flings open my curtains and blinds. I resist the urge to mutter a curse towards him and instead sit up and rub my eyes. He exits my room and leaves the door wide open. Jack ass. I grab my phone and check the time, I got fifteen minutes to get ready before I need to start my trip to school.

I rub my eyes again and pull my phone off the charger and stand up, popping my back and arms as I do so. I close my door before taking off my shirt and rummaging through my clothes, grabbing a white T-shirt from my dresser drawer and quickly putting it on. My hands shake slightly for whatever unknown reason as I remove my pants and throw them in my hamper. I pull out black ripped jeans and slide them on, jumping slightly to get them comfortably over my thighs for them being skinny jeans. I zip them up and button them before grabbing a black and white checkered belt and putting that on to go with my jeans. I finish my look with a dark navy blue jacket. I head to my bathroom and throw some water on my face, brush my teeth, and run my hands through my hair.

(I may or may not had gotten carried away when making this photo lol, his black notebook is in the bottom right )

(I also got carried away when designing this photo (his hair) TvT but it's fine cuz it's cute 😃)

I grab my worn out brush and pull the top half of my hair into a bun, leaving out my curtain bangs and letting the lower half of my hair swift over either side of my neck. At least I look decent.

I grab my backpack and sling it over my shoulder, heading out of my room after stuffing my phone in my pocket along with my headphones. I glance hastily at the kitchen and pause for a moment, Should I get something to eat? I skipped dinner last night.. I walk over to the fridge and pop it open, grabbing a water bottle. Nah. I uncap at and take a large drink as I continue to the front door, grabbing my skateboard on the way out.

It only takes me about ten minutes before I make it to school, a little upset that I have to go inside, because while it is rather cold outside, it's also really nice out. A light breeze with the sky being this darling blue turning purple over the horizon, the street lights still on and few cars on the road.

Once inside I begin to make my way down the empty hall, everyone who's already here waiting in the cafeteria. As I pass one of the many doors to the open cafeteria, a middle aged male teacher hurries over and stops me. "Hey! Where do you think you're going? You have to wait in the cafeteria like the other kids." I blink at him before rolling my eyes. "I have to go put my skateboard up?" Duh, dumb fuck. I bring up the skateboard in my arms slightly, motioning to how I have it, resisting the temptation to call him an ignorant old hag who lost his brain cells AND his hairline back in 400BCE. He makes a sound between a scoff and a sigh and somewhat rolls his eyes, placing his hands on his hips. "Fine, but hurry up and get back to the cafeteria right after, no dilly dallying." I jerk my head out slightly and raise my brows as I shake my head a bit, "Yeah whatever." I say sarcastically.

All because of that interaction I make sure to go EXTRA slow as I make my way to my locker. As I'm putting my shit away a group of guys a few lockers down catch my eyes. They're just standing there, talking. Like normal guys. Ew. That's weird. When one of the guys turn and looks me dead in the eyes with the slightest hint of a smile from something another guy said, I realize I've been staring and quickly slam my locker. To try and play it off I look him up and down with the side of my nose slightly raised and a disgusted expression plastered on my face. I give him this, Really? You had the audacity to come to school looking like a piece of garbage out of my grandmas basement? Look before I turn and pop one of my ear buds in my ear, playing the song Go Girl by Pitbull on blast.

Ugh, men.