Gazes | SeongJoong OneShot

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If you asked Hongjoong and Seonghwa how they perceived each other when they first met, you'd get an answer that everyone else would reveal as a lie.

But they didn't know that anyone else knew.

And they also didn't know themselves for a relatively long time.

Seonghwa would probably just answer something along the lines of how Yunho brought him into their friend group when he saw him eating by himself all the time. There, he'd met Hongjoong, the grumpy and snippy male who hated everything and everyone.

And Hongjoong would perhaps only answer how rude Seonghwa had been the first time Yunho brought him to their usual hangout spot, hating the way he seemed so small yet still what he called 'bitchy'.

But well, that was five years ago now.

Honestly, Seonghwa wouldn't say they've grown closer.

But they kind of did, if the lingering glances and more frequently grown conversations were any indication.

Still, the way Hongjoong would roll his eyes or snub when he was annoyed by anything Seonghwa  said or would answer sarcastically when Seonghwa would try to enter a dialogue between them kind of showed Seonghwa that maybe he just interpreted too much into the way Hongjoong seemed to randomly stare at him or try to close their physical distance by moving just a little bit closer when they were sitting on their friend's couch.

Really, Seonghwa couldn't decipher if his heart raced from all the hatred he had towards Hongjoong or from the feeling of his hands being just in reach to graze with his own or seeing his rare smiles and wanting to see it again when it faded just as quick as it appeared.

And if he was honest, he didn't even know if there was a difference between those feelings.

Because, god, he hated this man with every fiber of his body.

The way he'd shut everyone out to listen to his music and scribble down lyrics, looking so goddamn concentrated that he seemed to forget the world in those pages.

The way he'd always answer with the sassiest of answers and only roll his eyes when anyone scolded him for being rude.

The way he'd always watch Seonghwa as long as the older wasn't looking.

And well, Seonghwa wasn't so sure about his feelings towards the slightly younger male and if they even really only were hatred. He has been confused for the last year actually.

He couldn't pinpoint it exactly when it all started to slowly change.

But somewhere along the way, he started to long for the other to finally really look at him and let their eyes meet instead of only accidentally getting caught staring.

It could've been a stupid idea to confide in his best friend, Yunho, but well, who even cared?

Perhaps it was dumb to speak it out loud, but he was only human too, okay?

"I hate him. I hate him and his stupid gazes. Because they only linger when I'm looking away."

Yunho only nodded, a hint of pity and sadness lingering in his eyes as he apologized for introducing them both to each other.

And Seonghwa would've loved to pat his shoulder and tell him it was alright and it didn't matter.

But saying it out loud perhaps did make it seem more realistic than it had before, coming way too close to his heart when he felt each word tug on it as he spoke.

While Seonghwa tried to open up to his best friend, Hongjoong struggled to even understand everything himself.

His anger towards himself projected in his behavior towards others, especially Seonghwa.