Lost And Found (English)

1 | Taʻāruf - تَعَارُف

Taʻāruf — تَعَارُف means "knowing each other".
The concept of Taaruf in Islam is an attempt for a person to find a life partner or get to know the partner without engaging in processes that deviate from the principles of Sharia: dating.

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A heavy sigh escaped Mariah's lips as she locked eyes with her unfamiliar reflection. The billowing black abaya, a stark contrast to her usual form-fitting attire, engulfed her. Its fabric draped loosely, covering the curves she cherished and even her chest beneath a soft brown hijab. This wasn't her. Not at all. But today, this modest outfit was her only choice.

Mariah donned the unfamiliar attire, a requirement for the taaruf, a "knowing each other" session arranged by her baba (father) with a potential husband. Why did she have to dress like this for a first meeting? The whole concept of taaruf confused her, and frankly, the idea of an arranged marriage felt like a big mess.

Even though she understood the importance of modesty in her religion and culture, it conflicted with her carefree and easy childhood in Washington with her late mother. Her mother, who was Muslim, never enforced strict religious practices. Mariah's parents divorced when she was just eight, and she remained with her mother. Raised primarily by her mother, she had a less religious upbringing.

However, at the tender age of 15, Mariah's life took an unexpected turn. Her mother, her confidante, her rock, succumbed to a long battle with cancer, leaving a gaping void in her world. Her life was about to take a dramatic turn, one she could never have foreseen.

Thrust into a new reality at the young age, Mariah, with no other family, was sent to live with her baba in Malaysia. This abrupt shift in environment and lifestyle was a monumental challenge. Grappling with the immense grief of losing her mother, she also had to adapt to a new culture and embrace a more traditional, religious way of life.

Growing up in a Western country, Mariah was accustomed to a life of self-expression, reflected in her clothing and behavior. In her new environment, high school brought a significant shift. Here, covering her head with a hijab and dressing modestly became the norm, a world away from her usual style. While her baba never pushed for an immediate, complete transformation, allowing her time to adjust. He did gently offer guidance, which she appreciated.

Mariah's baba, Haji Malek, a devout Muslim, felt a strong responsibility to guide his daughter on the path of Islam. The loss of his ex-wife weighed heavily on him, and perhaps he saw it as an opportunity to reconnect with Mariah through their shared faith. Having been divorced when Mariah was young, he felt he hadn't had the chance to instill islamic values in her upbringing. Now, reunited with his daughter, he wanted to ensure she felt connected to her islamic heritage.

Although initially unfamiliar with islamic teachings, Mariah embraced them over time. She began to follow the faith willingly, even if not yet fully observant. However, despite her transformation, some of her old, unpleasant behaviors remained.

Mariah's narcissistic and self-centered tendencies persisted, perhaps fueled by her baba's wealth and prominent status in town. She noticed how people treated her differently – relatives, new school friends, everyone – with a newfound respect that sometimes bordered on fear. This shift in power emboldened her, allowing her to act with subtle dominance and, at times, even resort to bullying behavior.