This wasn't how things were supposed to be, but if i had a list of regrets loving you wouldn't be one of them. And if still loving you is wrong then I don't wanna be right.
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I couldn't sleep, and it was annoying as fuck. I could only ever sleep when I ate something or when I had really good sex. Which was a rare occasion for me. But I wasn't hungry right now and I didn't wanna force myself to eat. I have insomnia because when my dad killed my mom when I was twelve I saw and it's like the bitch is haunting me and my dreams every since. Even in the after life. So most nights I normally have nightmares about her and I would sometimes wake up crying and I used to be scared to sleep and so I developed insomnia. So I haven't had a good nights rest in thirteen damn fucking years.
I tried sleeping pills and it didn't work, I tried sleepy time tea. That also didn't work. So I started to realize I would get sleepy after really good sex when my body was tired or when I ate also causing my body to become tired from using so much energy to force myself to eat. It's not that I don't like eating I just don't eat alot. So I wasn't particularly sleepy today because the second wasn't all that great, and I wasn't about to force myself to eat.
I mean sex with Antony is always good but it's never really great. I needed to really be fucked my someone who isn't afraid to dominate me. As much as I get off on people being submissive towards me i get off even more when people put me in my place or when they dominate me. But everyone's too scared of me to do that, that's what happens when you're the youngest daughter of a mafia boss. I need a real man to fuck me so hard I won't even remember my fucking name afterwards. That's how I want to be fucked. Rough.
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