To my Darling |Firstkhao

two

Dearest Firfir ,

It's already been a month since your departure and I cannot bring myself to express how much I miss your presence near me. I place the hope that this letter finds you well. Are you getting settled well in your new environment? I know you told me not to worry about you much but I can't help it when all of my thoughts are clouded by you. I sometimes sit down and let my mind wander around the time we met- yes the day you promised to never let me go again, like a teenager in their 15s I smile about those memories. As you're not here now, I don't know what I can do to let my head off things, the clinic is overflowing with people as always and I manage to sneak off sometimes to let some time for myself. Do not worry your head about me. I'm taking my meals well and I hope you are too.

As everyday passes and I try to make myself occupied with things, I realise that my love for you grows stronger. You bring so much happiness and affection into my life. You're like the sun that brightens up my dull life, the rhythm that keeps my chest beating and the thought of spending the rest of my life with you fills me with so much joy. I give you my word that I will always be there to wipe away your tears or share your laughter. I want to be the shoulder to lean on and to love you unconditionally.

I don't know what the future holds but I will forever and always be there for you, by your side.

                                             -with love,
                                                      Yours Khaotung

Sand's hands shook as he slowly lowered the letter and quickly picked up another one, addressed to his his grandfather and yet it was still the same person 'khaotung' signing in the end and the letters seemed to be written with so much love and care, so delicate as if it would break if held with a bit more strength.

Ray just silently looked at his boyfriend as he was trying to read the letters confusion clouding his mind. He grasped his boyfriend's hand as to tell him to let it go, slowly pulling him up to their room, and laying the other person down, wrapping an arm around him, giving him the comfort he needed right now.

The taller man's head was a mess, he couldn't seem to figure out what these letters meant or he could but he was afraid, afraid of finding out something he shouldn't and the only thing nitpicking his head was a question,

"Who was Khaotung Thanawat".

When Ray woke up the next morning, he found the other side of the bed empty. Groggily stepping out of the bed, he walked out to the kitchen and still no signs of Sand could be found. Still confused as he turned around, he found a note on the fridge,

"Went out for some work, breakfast is in the table, Eat it up"
-love you.

He smiled a bit, thinking about his boyfriend cooking early in the morning and his thoughts gradually went back to the first time they met.

Sand was in his second year of university, when he had encountered the half american, half thai kid in a club washroom, drunk to oblivion and who couldn't even hold himself up properly and Sand being the kind hearted stranger he is, had brought Ray to his dorm and looked after him the whole night, he hadn't even complained when the younger boy had thrown up all over his new shoes to which the shorter boy had felt very guilty and brought the other one a new pair with all his savings.

And that's how it had begun and now 5 years later, they're here with him having breakfast in their kitchen, a place that they call their own, a place called home, their home.

Ray had just gotten out of the shower when Sand had returned and told him to pack up their few clothes as they would be leaving for Phetchaburi. (western province of thailand).

Without an explanation or brief knowledge he was swiftly dragged out of the house and now he was boarding a train with his boyfriend to another town. Quickly finding their seat they sat down next to eachother and the younger male gives the other male a look which, to which the taller male replies, "I went to the civil office this morning, to find more about the name mentioned in the letters. They gave me an address once I told them I'm his grandson who just returned from abroad"

The shorter male raised a brow," And they believed that?", "6 years of living in the US sure did give me a bit of fake american accent , which came in handy today" joked the other man.

"But why are we actually going to see him?" the boy looked a bit confused. Could the man even be alive?

"The last letter addressed to him was sealed, that means it wasn't delivered and I think it's only right that we make sure it reaches the right person, maybe decades late but we could try" the taller male grimly answers as his eyes follows the moving trees outside the train window.

Ray smiles softly, placing a quick kiss on the other man's cheek and tilts his head to the side leaning on the taller's shoulder and slowly closing his eyes. The other male looks down at his boyfriend, raising his hands as he ruffles the younger one's hair and as a smile tugs his lips.

half an hour into their journey and the shorter male was fast sleep now, Sand let's his eyes wander around the scenery and everything around him until it halts at his backpack. He reaches out to the bag and slowly digs through it, not wanting to disturb the peaceful sleep of his partner.

His hands gets a hold of the desired thing and he slowly pulls out the worn out notebook. He throws his bag down and leans back on his seat as he carefully flips open the notebook.